I'm Not Made Of Steel

I Tell Myself Everyday I'm Awesome,

I Look At Myself,

I Say,

Why Am I So God Damn Handsome?

I Say,

I'm Awesome

But,

Deep Down,
I'm Torn Up,

I'm Broken.

And It Sucks.

Some Days I Feel So Happy,

So Glad To Be Alive,

But Most Days,

I Feel Like Crying,

I Feel Like Lying In Bed Till The Sun Sets,

Twice.

I Think About My Mom And Dad,

How It Would Be Perfect If My Mom Was There For Me Again,

How She Would Listen

And Atleast Take Into Consideration What I Tell Her,

I Wish,

I Could Hold Her Again,

I Miss Her

And Her Smile

And Her Smell.

How Perfect It Would Be If My Dad Had Been There For Me,

How He Could Have Atleast Tried To Be A Father,

Where Was He When I Needed Him?

I Pray More Than Ever,

To Have Someone I Could Look Forward To,

Someone Who Would Look At Me And Just Understand,

Someone To Give Me A Hug With Love,

Someone To Kiss Me Goodnight.

Cakes And Perfumes.

I Feel So Awesome Today,

I Felt So Special,

I'm Awesome.

After Your Dreams Have All Died And Morning Isn't Morning, What Are You?

It Is Depressing Knowing That Your 'Friends' Don't Want To Spend Time With You,

When They Find You Weird,

When You Just Feel They That Don't Like You.

It's Not Ok To Do That,

It's Not Ok To Ignore The People You Used To Hang Out With,

It's Not Ok To Be Mean To Them Even If It's Just For Kicks.

I Know Nobody Is Perfect,

And We All Make Mistakes Just Like Everybody Else,

We Say Stupid Things,
We Do Stupid Things,

Don't Judge,

Don't Hate,

Accept,

Give People Room To Grow,

I Mean Its Alot Better To Tell The Truth Than To Ignore.

Doesn't Matter Colour,
Doesn't Matter Intelligence,

Doesn't Matter Looks,
We Are All Human,

And We Have Feelings,

We Have Feelings Which Can Be Hurt.

I Don't Appreciate Any Of This More Than Anyone I Know,

Friends Are Supposed To Understand And Support,

Friends Should Give Space For Us To Mature,

To Think For Ourselves,

Friends Shouldn't Make Friends,

Feel Bad,

Friends Shouldn't Use Friends,

Be It Physically Or Emotionally.

What Happened To Us?

Somewhere Along The Lines,

We Lost Each Other.

Nothing Feels Worst Than Being Left Out,

I Hope Your Proud.

He Seems Alive.

I'm Sad And Pissed Off,

And I Don't Know What It Is,

I'm Just So Damn Blue.

I Just Feel Like Cutting My Eyeballs,

So That I Won't Have To See The Evil And The Unjustice In This World.

I Don't Even Know Why I'm Feeling Like This,

I'm In No Mood To Think,

There's So Much In My Head,

I Can't Filter Them,

It's Just A Big Jumble Of Emotion.

And My Heart,

That's The Worst.

It's Not Talking To Me,

I Don't Know What He Wants,

He Is So Sore,

And Always In Constant Pain.

I Can't Sleep,

I Just Toss And Turn,

I Wake Up In Cold Sweat,

Confused,

Thinking To Myself,

Why Doesn't It Ever End,

I Just Want To Go,

Just Peacefully Go.

I Want To Wake Up And Know That,

I'm Somewhere Everyone Feels The Same,

Glad.

Wake Up And Feel Awesome

I'm Really Confused And Pissed Off,

It's Either One Or The Other.

Confused Cause,

I Just Don't Know What I'm Doing Anymore,

And Being Lead On Really Doesn't Help,

The Fact That I Don't Know How To Express How I Feel Does Alot To Add To My Confusion.

Ok,

To Get Shit Straight,

I Am Not Gay Or Anything,

My Facebook Has Been Constantly Raped,

So Yeah.
Really Pissed Off Cause,

Nothing Ever Goes My Way,

No One Really Listens

And My Brother Just Does Everything He Can To Ruin My Life.

I Mean Let Me Be,

Let Me Do What I Want.

Enough Of That.

My Friend Got Me Thinking,

Is What I Doing Right?

Is It Worth It?

It Seems Like Nothing Is Going My Way,

So Yeah

I Should Chill.

This World Is Too Big For Me And Me Trying To Be On Top Is Not A Good Idea,

Made Up My Mind,

I Will Chill.

Live Life With Complete Chill,

Remember?

I'll Be Fine *Not*

Yeah,

I Just Watched An Episode Of Vampire Diaries

And It's So Sad,

Damon,

The Bad Ass Nice Guy,

Loves Katherine, This Foxy Vampire,

But She Doesn't Love Him Back, She Loves Stefan,

So He Gets Depressed And Upset,

And He Tries Stuff Out With Elena, Human Look Alike Of Katherine

And She Says She Loves Stefan.

I Mean,

Two Heartbreaks In One Night,

A Man Can Only Take So Much.

But I Mean,

I Admire Him,

He Always Acts Cool,

He Acts As If Nothing Phases Him,

Nothing Hurts Him,

And He Just Goes On Living Life,

People Hate Him,

He Doesn't Give A Shit.

I Mean,

On One Hand,

You Can Really Do Whatever You Want,

On The Other,

You Can't Hold On To Anyone

And That's Not Very Fun Sometimes,

Sometimes You Just Need To Be Loved,

To Feel Loved.

It's Frustrating Sometimes,

Going Home,

Knowing There's Nothing To Look Forward To But Going Out The Next Day,

Knowing There's No One At Home Waiting For You,

Wanting You.

The World Is Not A Nice Place,

It's Only Nice If You Make It.

Lets Relapse And I'll Be Your Only Regret

Some Times I Look At Myself,

Think Of Everything I Ever Did,

Everyone I've Ever Dissapointed

And

I Just Feel Like Crying

But I Just Can't

I Mean

I Feel Sad And Torned Up Inside,

My Throat Chokes Up And My Nose Feels Weird,

My Eyes Water,

And Then,

That's Just It,

No Tears.

Do You Know How Bad That Feels?

The Worst Part Is,

No One Gets Me,

And I Can't Tell Anyone,

Cause One Way Or Another They Just Drift Away,

It Could Be Family Or Even Just Friends,

But They Drift,

And It's Always My Fault,

Cause I Constantly Go Agaisnt What I Say,

Time And Time Again.

I Realise I Hurt People But My Conscience Is Just So Worn Out He Doesn't Even Care Until It's Too Late.

I Try To Be A Good Son,

But I Fail Miserably,

I Dissapoint My Mom Cause Nothing I Do Is Ever Good Enough.

I Try To Be A Good Brother,

I Try My Best But I'm Just An Asshole Most Of The Time.

I Don't Even Have The Guts To Apologize For All This Bullshit.

I Try To Be A Good Friend,

I Hear My Friends Out,

Then I Get Too Close And When I Actually Start To Feel Stuff,

I End Up Doing Something Stupid To Push Them Away.

I Hate My Life Cause I'm Sebastian Pettersson.

I'm Just Never Good Enough.

I'll Go About Pretending I'm Happy,

Putting On My Perfect Smile,

Just For Sakes

But It Kills Me Inside.

Everyday I Long For This Pain To Atleast Slowly Fade But It Doesn't.

I Go To Bed Everything Just Praying I Don't Wake Up And Have To Go Through This Nightmare.

I'll Be Fine.

I Will Burn Myself If I Had A Blowtorch

I'm So Pissed Right Now,

With My Brother And Just At Life Mainly.

I Just Want To Scream,

And Just Break Something,

And Just Scream Until My Stupid Lungs Give Out.

I Swear To God,

Why?

How Could Does Be Fair,

I Feel Like Burning Myself,

You Know,

But I Can't,

Cause That Would Just Mean,

I'm Afraid,

And I'm Not,

I'm A Bastard.

I Need To Drink.

And Scream.

I Want To Get High.

I Miss Bondy And Sparky And Fish.

I'm Just So Pissed,
And I Snap So Easily,

I Swear,

I Need To Manage My Stupid Anger.

French Toast For Breakfast

I'm Listening To Kings And Queens-Thirty Seconds To Mars

It's Nice How Its Just Playing,

You Know.

I'm Getting Really Frustrated,

It's Really Not Fun When You Have To Consider Others,

I'm Getting Slightly Pissed Off,

I Mean,

Its Really Not Fair

Then Again,

Life Isn't Fair,

But Don't I Atleast You Know,

Get A Shot?

I Swear To God.

Dark Days

I Just Want To Get High,

I Just Feel Like It.

I've Been Listening To Lots Of Kid Cudi And This Guy Is Just,

He's Just Cool.

I Mean,

Go Ahead, Listen To Him,

It's Just Like Magic,

It Makes You Want To Smoke Weed,

And His Lyrics Are Just,

You Know,

Profound.

I Guess,

I Don't Know.

I'm Shaking,

Don't Know Why.

And,

It's Sad,

My Friend,

Our Friend,

He Is Going,

And He Is Just So Cool,

I Haven't Known Him Long But He Is Just So Cool,

I'm Going To Miss Him.

I Miss Bondy,

And My Mom,

And Sparky.

I Really Want To Get High,

See What It Feels Like,

Enjoy That Moment,

When Nothing Else Matters,

And Everything Is Just Perfect, Even If Its For A Second,

Then,

I Want To Get Into A Fight,

Get Hit.

Then I Would,

Go Back To My House,

And Lie My Head Down On My Pillow,

With A Smile On My Face,

Thinking To Myself,

"You're Awesome"

And Slowly Fall Asleep,

And Fall Into A World Of Dream.

Her Heart Is Breaking In Front Of Me

It's Been A While Since We Talked Bout The Boy,

Well,

The Boy Has Been Getting On Pretty Good I Would Say,

He Has Moved On To Another Chapter Of His Life,

He Is Trying To Live.

So Far He's Been Getting Along Just Fine,

Until About Recently,

The Water Started To Get A Little Murky,

True Colours Were Being Shown,

And The Boy Was Really Confused,
On One Hand,

He Doesn't Want Anything To Change,

On The Other,

He Wants So Badly For Things To Do.

He Gets Thrown A Little Off Balance With The Occasional Madness Here And There But He Stands Up Ok,

The Boy Doesn't Want To Get Involved,

He Wants To Live Free,

But He Can't Help It,

He Would Feel So At Peace If It Could Be Considered

The Plot Thickens,

Things Start To Happen,

People Start To Get Hurt,

Lies Are Being Blatantly Told,

The Boy Is In A Position Where He Should Be Someones Shoulder,

Someones Rock,

He Doesn't Know If Thats What He Did,

He Isn't Sure If He Followed His Heart Or His Head,

Either Way,

He Didn't Consider Anyone Else,

He Was Being Somewhat Selfish,

The Boy Figured,

Why Not,

He Regrets It Though,

The Guilt Starts To Pour In,

He Keeps It In,

Just As He Always Had.

The Night Ends

One Word Frees Us All Of Weight And Pain Of Life; That Word Is Love

I've been so sad lately,

I really have no clue what it is.

I mean,

I'm always so sad and it's depressing not knowing what it is and having to deal with it,

I feel like I don't have a reason to live anymore,

I mean,

What am I doing?

I'm doing OK in school,

But what am I doing?

I'm fooling around

I'm acting like a bastard,

This is just not me,

I honestly think,

Subconsiously,

I'm afraid to open whats left of my God forsaken to anyone

And by doing so,

I'm not letting any happyness in

I could be wrong,

I usually am.

I could also be sad because,

My mom is not talking to me,

The closest person I have to me won't spend a few minutes to let me know it's OK

I pretend like I'm cool

But I miss her,

I do,

Or I could be sad because,

I lost my friends,

Two best friends of mine,

Two best friends I could talk to,

Who didn't really give a shit bout who I was rather, accept me for who I am

Friends who would cancel plans just to hear bout my day.

Or I'm not sad,

I just pretend to be sad because I don't want to be happy.

Maybe,

I just need to be shown some love,

Some genuine love,

A hug which doesn't feel empty,

A conversation which brings my spirit up.

I shouldn't feel like this,

I'm Sebastian Pettersson,

Nothing brings me down,

Accept maybe nothing,

I'm merely human,

I bleed,

I hurt.

It's All A Game Of This And That

Why Does Every Moment Have To Be So Hard?

I'm Just Trying To Live, To Have Fun

And That's Wrong?

Cause I Think I Deserve It,

I've Been Through Shit And I Can't Have Fun?

I Mean

Why Does Everyone Think They Control My Life,

They Dictate What I Have To Do To Live And When I Don't Do As They Want They Just Cut Me Off.

It Fucking Hurts,

Knowing That No One Really Gives A Shit Anymore,

Do I Look Like Trash?

Am I That Un-Important?

As Much As Anyone Would Like To Think,

I Have A Heart,

I Have Feelings,

They Hurt.

And I Can't Do Anything About It Cause I Don't Know What To Do,

I Just Don't,

No One Is Helping,

No One Supports Me,

And I'm Just Sad.

You Said You Wouldn't Care If I Was With Another Girl,

You Said You Wouldn't Mind,

Then When I Am With Another Girl,

Its Wrong?

Help Me Understand.

____________________________________________

This Is Meant For Two People And Two People Only,

Two People Whom I Thought Cared,

Two People Who Was Supposed To Be There For Me.

In A Matter Of Three Weeks, I've Had Tons Of Older Girls Flirt With Me (I'm Just That Good Looking)

A Band Of Wise People Once Said,

"The Truth Hurts Worst Than Anything I Could Bring Myself To Do, To You"

You Could Look At This Line From So Many Different Points Of Views, Perspectives If You Will,

But,

Yeah,

That's Pretty Much It,

I Mean,

It Has Loads Of Meanings To It,

Some We Probably Would'nt Have Thought Of In A Million Years,

Basically,

The Truth Hurts.

What I'm Trying To Get At Here Is That,

We Humans Judge,

Thats What We Do,

Even If We Try Not To We Still Do,

And In Some Ways,

When You Don't Like A Person,

It's Probably Cause You've Acted Like Him/Her

That Not Always The Case But

You Get My Point

Yeah

Right Now,

Everyone Single One Of Us Has To Forgive,

Cause Thats The Only Way Any Of Us Is Gonna Move On,

Sure

You Could Sulk, Get Depressed, Swear At The One Person You Hate,

Where Does That Get You?

What Does That Do For You?

And If You Do That,

You Sink As Low As The Person You Dislike,

I Realised That And Now,

You Could Say,

I'm In A State Of Hippy-ness

I'm Pretty Much Just Chill About Everything Now,

You Can't Change The Past,

So

Just Shape The Future.

So Yeah,

I Probably Wrote This Better Then You Guys Ever Felt It And I'm Sorry

Do You Remember The Way I Held You Hand?

Where Do I Start?

"The Only Thing In Life Which Is Constant Is Change"

Yeah

Everything Changes,

The Only Way Any Of Us Is Going To Live Is By Moving Forward,

Sure It Can Be Hard,

You'll Miss Your Parents,

Your Friends.

But

Theres Really Nothing Much You Can Do

Just Keep Living,

Sometimes Its For The Best,

Like

Better Schools

Or Better Lifestyle

I Can Say

Its Really Much Nicer Here,

Like Right Now

You Can Here Music Out In The Streets

You Can See People Dancing,

Having Fun,

Even Though It's Freezing

So Yeah

At First

It Will Be Hard,

But Seasons Change,

From Winter,

It Changes To Spring

Then Summer

It Will Get Better,

Just Chill

You Probably Wont

Cause You Think You Cooler Than Me

Allah Is The Arabic Word For God, I Think If That Isn't Allowed To Be Said By Non-Muslims, We Might As Ban The Word God Being Said In Other Languages

For One,
I'm Keeping On Hold What I Should Be Doing,

For Hope.

I Just Don't Get It,

You Say You Don't Want Anymore Right,

Then I'm Nicely Talking With My Friend

Then You Butt In?

Seriously

What The Fuck?

And Being The Pussies These People Are,

They're Going To Show All These To Teachers,

Who're Not Going To Listen To Me,

So,

What's The Point?

And

I Really Hope You People Are Proud Of Yourselves,

There's Nothing Else I Can Say,

You Seriously Think That By Doing What You Did Things Won't Result In Total Melancholy?

I Just Don't Get It,

I Mean,

You Knew I Was Leaving,

Let Me Leave In Peace,

Maybe What I Did Was Wrong In Your's And Everyone Elses Eyes,

But To Me,

It Was,

It Was Like Nothing I Can Describe,

And I Don't Regret It For A Second

So,

Say What You Can Say,

To Whoever You Want To Say It To,

And Let Me Handle This On My Own,

Cause,

Obviously,

Anyone Who Tries To Help,

You Lie To The Teachers And Say Whatever Would Make Them Believe,

Yeah,

Show This Post To Them I Dare You,

Tell Them What I'm Saying Is The Truth,

Cause For The Most Part,

It Is.

I'm Alone In This

My Friends Aren't Allowed To Back Me Up

And Yeah Thats Pretty Much It,

I Think It's Quite Unfair That,

Because You're Malay And When Your Friends Meddle Its OK,

But When My Friends Stand Up For Me,

It's Wrong.

One Day,

When I'm All Grown Up,

I'll Write A Book,

About Every Single Shit That Has Happened To Me

And There'll Be One Whole Chapter Bout This,

And I Hope You Get Yourself A Copy To Realize What You Put Everyone Through

Even If It Was My Fault

Life Is Like Down Syndrome Kids Making New Friends

Should We Be Blamed For The Decisions We Make And The Mistakes That Follow?

I Honestly Think

We Should Learn By Ourselves,

I Mean

Helping Would Mean You Just Want To Spoil Someone

And

Yeah.

I Made Decisions With Someone

And Technically

We Didn't Do Anything Wrong

It's Only A Crime If I Get Caught

And As Long As I Didn't Get Caught

It Was Good,

It Was Perfect,

My Life Was Perfect,

Now,

Everyone In School Is Against Me

Even Her,

I Mean

If You Love Someone

You Don't Go And Support The Enemy

You Stay By The One You Love

And Get In Trouble Together

I'm Just Sad, Angry And Dissapointed

I Just Don't Know What To Say Anymore

I Don't Know What To Think.

And If Everyone Thought That I Was Bad When I Was With You,

I'll Prove Them Wrong,

I Have Been Shisha-ing

And Other Stuff

Other Good Stuff.

Damn

Can't Wait For Tommorow,

It's Going To Be So Epic

Yeah

Thats Bout It

Bullet Wounds Fixed With Bread And Cling Wrap, Tears In His Eyes, He Watched His Life Fall Apart

He Woke Up Today,

Feeling Dissapointed.

He Wasn't Hungry,

He Skipped Breakfast,

The Boy And His Mom Planned To See Their Dog,

Sparky,

Three Long Hours In The Car,

All The Boy Wanted To Do Was Be With The Girl,

Not Much Was Said Between The Boy And His Mom,

They Got To Sparky's New House,

He Was So Excited To See Them,

He Was Going Crazy,

He Jumped On All Of Them.

If You Had Looked Into Sparky's Eyes You Would Recognize His Happiness,

It Would Melt Your Heart,

It Sure Melted The Boy's Heart,

For The Short Time They Were There,

Everything Seemed To Make Sense,

The Boy Was Lost In Sparky's Presence

He Thought Of How He Had To Tell His Mom What Had Happened Yesterday,

He Knew She Would Be Dissapointed.

They Boy Said His Goodbyes,

And Left,

Not Knowing When He Would Get The Chance To See Sparky Again.

Another Three Long Hours Were Spent In The Car,

It Started To Rain And It Got Really Cold,

Now More Than Ever The Boy Wanted To Hold Her,

He Got Home Took A Shower,

Summing Up Enough Courage To Tell His Mom What Happened,

In The Beginning,

She Was OK,

The She Started Shouting At Him,

Calling The Girl All Sorts Of Names,

Calling The Boy Stupid,

She The Said The Boy Was A Huge Dissapointment,

And She Thanked God I Was Going,

She The Said That The Girl's Parents Could Sue.

She Ended Up Crying.

The Boy Locked Himself In His Room,

He Lied On His Bed,

Started To Cry Silently,

He Wanted To Slit His Wrist,

So Many Thoughts Filled His Head

A Tale Of Love And Betrayal

We All Know H0w The Story Begins,

The Boy Falls In Love With The Girl,

The Girl Breaks His Heart,

The Boy Has Lost His Will To Live,

He Gets Over It And Is Looking Forward To A New Year,

Then She Comes Back To Him,

All This Feelings Start Rushing Into Him,

He Does What He Knows How,

And Loves.

Things Start Picking Up Between The Boy And The Girl,

Soon Both Of Them Are In Love,

And When People Are In Love,

They Do What People In Love Would Do,

Even If It Breaks The Rules,

All The Boy Thinks About Is Her,

He Forgets School Completely,

He Doesn't Even Mind Not Doing Stuff People In Love Would Do,

He Just Wants To Be With Her.

Things Start To Change In The Boys Life,

He Has To Go To Another Country,

He Tries To Spend As Much Time As He Can With The Girl,

They're So In Love.

One Day,

One Perfect Day,

While The Two Weren't Noticing,

The Friends They Trusted,

Took Pictures Of Them,

And Showed It To The Teachers,

Now,

You Might Think Why

I Myself Am Not To Sure,

I'm Just Telling You The Story,

The Boy Promises The Girl It'll Be OK,

He Holds Her Hand And Promises Her It'll be OK,

She's Crying And Her Keeps Assuring Her.

About A Day Later,

The Boy Tells The Girl Something He Heard From One Of His Friends,

"We Might Get Suspended" He Says,

She Just Breaks Down Into Tears,

He Wants To Hold Her,

She Pushes Him Away,

He Goes To Class But He Is So Frustrated,

He Goes To See Her,

He Tries To Hold Her Hand,

She Pushes Him Away,

At This Point,
The Boy Is At A Lost,

He Doesn't Know What To Do,

He Wants To Talk To Her,

But He Knows She Would Probably Never Talk To Him Again.

They Both Get Called To The Office Later That Day,

Stuff Was Said,

And Eventhough The Boy Wanted To Be Blamed,

Being Blamed Wasn't Fun,

They Treated Him Like A Rapist,

A Terrorist,

They Accuse Him Of Things Without Proof,

They Accuse Them Of Things,

The Girl Wouldn't Even Look At The Boy,

At The Brink Of Tears The Boy Starts Walking To His Car,

He Sees The Girl With Another Guy,

Not Only Is He Being Treated Like A Terrorist,

She Goes And Talks To Another Guy,

His Fist Are Clenched,

He Gets The Urge To Punch Him So Bad,

He Looks Past Them,

He Knows If He Did What He Wanted,

He'd Be In More Trouble Then He Already Is.

2 Hours Later,

The Boy Goes Out To See His Brother,

They Have Some Whisky,

And The Boy Tells His Brother What Happened,

His Brother Suggested They Go See The Friends They Trusted,

They Gave Excuses,

And Ended Being Brave In Facebook.

Pathetic.

They Boy And His Brother Goes To See Their Little Brother,

The Found Their Little Brother's Sister Shisha,

They Tried It Out,

I Was The Boys First Time And He Was Ecstatic,

Smoking Shisha,

Seeing Friends For The Last Time,

It Was Good,
He Gets Home,

And Hangs Out With His Little Brother Abit,

His Brother Shows Up With A Friend,

They Hang Out For A While,

Then His Brother Suggested The Go Out,

So They Hope On To Their Motorcycles,

Go To A Shop,

Gets Some Ciggarettes And Start Smoking,

At First The Boy Didn't Want It,

Then He Thought,

Might As Well,

Since He Is Going In A Week And The Girl Isn't Talking To Him,

He Does His Stuff,

He Gets Home He Falls Asleep

July, A Month Of Dashed Hopes

I'm Sad,

I Thought Going For The Sake Of Making My Mom Being Happy Would Keep Me,

You Know,

But,

When She Put It That Way,

I Felt Like Bursting Into Tears,

I Mean,

I Didn't Choose To Go.

I Will Miss Her,

So Much,

Too Much,

I'll Miss Probably My Only Two Good Friends,

James Freer,

Roshan Sharma,

I'll Miss Sparky,

I'll Miss My Mom A Lot.

But Honestly,

I'll Just Be Sad,

It'll Probably Be Awesome,

But I'll Just Be Sad For A While.

I Don't Know How To Be,

I Mean,

Now That I Know,

It'll All Just Disappear,

Everything,

I Try To Be Positive About It,

But The Truth Is,

I'm Going,

I, Sebastian Pettersson, Am Probably Going To Spend A Long Time In Sweden,

And,

I'll Be Sad,

For The Most Part,

I'll Be Sad.

I'll Just Skip To The Good Part.

I Just Don't Know What To Say,
How Bout,
Do You Ever Get So Sad,
That You Feel Nothing In The Shower?
I Miss Her So Much,
And I Probably Am Going To Be Shipped To Sweden.
When Things Get Hard,
You Don't Leave,
You Don't Give Up,
You're Supposed To Be There When Someone Needs You,
You Can't Just Walk Away,
Then When Everything's Better You Come Back,
I'm Not Blaming Anybody,
People Get Scared,
Heck,
I'm Scared,
I Don't Want To Go To Sweden,
Not Now,
Not Yet.
All That Really Matters I Guess,
Is If That Two People Truely Love Each Other,
Things Will Work Itself Out,
I Hope.
I Just Want To Hold Her Now,
Tell Her Everything Is Going To Be Ok,
Tell Her I Love Her No Matter What,
Tell Her I'm Not Going To Leave Anytime Soon.
At Times Like These,
I Want To Take A Blade,
And Slit My Wrists,
Then It'll Be Over.

You're Only Young Once But It Goes On For Ages

So,

Cheer 2010.

It Was..

Well,

It Just Was.

The First Day Was,

The Bus Ride There Was OK,

Then We Were At The Stadium,

Then They Performed,

I Thought Our School Was Good,

They Screwed Up A Little,

It Was Pretty Mellow That Day,

The Bus Ride Home Was The Best,

Personally I Think.

Then On The Second Day,

We Had More Support,

We Screamed,

We Yelled,

Occasionally The Announcer Would Forget Us,

But We Were There.

Electric Was Really Good,

Really Good,

Like Amazing,

There Was Also D'Starz,

They Were Perfect,

And They Only Got 5th,

It's Fucking Rigged,

I Swear,

It's All Bout Popularity,

Cyrens Sucked,

And They Won.

I Would Say D'Starz Are Second To Electric.

The Bus Ride Home Was The Best Again.

Now I Miss Her.

I Wanna Go Where Everyone Feels The Same

It Was Still Early In School And I Was Waiting For Her,

I Decided To Walk Down,

I Saw Her Along The Way,

I Smiled,

We Both Turned To Each Other,

She Looked At Me And Said,

Fuck You,

I Didn't Know What To Do,

I Walked Away,

Then All Of A Sudden We Where In The Same Class,

She Was Sitting With Him,

His Hand Around Her,

I Was Just Watching Them,

Helplessly.

I Went Home,

And There She Was,

We Didn't Say Anything,

It Was Late,

I Lied On My Bed,

And She Lied With Me,

Holding Hands I Turned To Her,

We Kissed And Made Up.

Then I Woke Up,

I Looked At The Time,

It Was 4.30,

She Wasn't There Beside Me,

It Was Just A Dream,

A Nightmare.

I've Been So Sad Lately,

I Really Don't Like How I'm Feeling,

I Feel Like Crying When I'm Not With Her,

Or When I Leave Her,

Or Even When I Have To Hang Up.

No One Understands,

How Much I Love Her.

And I Just Hate Not Being With Here.

Harlequin Girls

If You Really Listen,

Then You'll Understand,

Like Music,

Panic! At The Disco.

All Their Songs Are Like Stories Waiting To Be Told To The World.

Is It Still Me That Makes You Sweat?

Am I Who You Think About In Bed?

When The Lights Are Dim And Your Hands Are Shaking As Your Sliding Off Your Dress,

Then Think Of What You Did And I Hope To God It Was Worth It.

When The Lights Are Dim And Your Heart Is Racing As Your Fingers Touch His Skin.

I've Got More Wit, A Better Kiss, Hotter Touch, A Better Fuck

Than Any Boy You'll Ever Meet,

Sweetie You Had Me,

Girl I Was It,

Look Past The Sweat,

A Better Love Deserving Of Exchanging Body Heat In The Passenger Seat.

Just Fucking Genius,

Panic! At The Disco Is Only Second The Fall Out Boy,

Fall Out Boy's Lyrics Are Really Metaphorical.

This Has Been Said So Many Times That I'm Not Sure If It Matters,

But It Must Be Said Again That All Us Boys Are Just Screaming,

Into Microphones For Attention,

Because Were Just So Bored.

I Mean What Does This Even Mean?

Genius Only Comes Along In Storms Of Fabled Foreign Tongues, I'm No Genius

You Know The Feeling You Get When You're Un-Appreciated?

Yeah.

I Don't Need Hugs Or Kisses,

A 'Thank You' Would Be Enough,

Maybe Something Like,

Thank You For Being Arguably The Best Guy In The World To Stay With Me When I'm Not Feeling Well To Make Sure I'm OK,

Or Thank You For Walking All That Way To Get Me Stuff Cause I'm Sick,

*Sigh*

The Things We Do For The People We Love.

I Mean,

You Don't Even Have To Say It,

I Would Understand A 'Thank You' Hug,

But No,

All I Got Today Was,

A 'I'm In A Rush Cause My Dad Is Here And I Have To Give My Best Guy Friend Whom You Hate A Ride Home Cause My Dad Likes Him' Hug.

I Swear,

It Can't Get Any Better.

It's Like One Of Those Indian Movies,

Where They Always Arrange Marriages For Their Daughters Because The Dads Like That Guy When There's Another Guy Whom The Dad Hates But Possibly The Daughters Love.

I'm Really Sad Now.

Have You Ever Had A Friend Who Is Nice To Everyone Else But Is The Biggest Asshole In The World To You?

Everyone Likes Him/Her And They Just Don't Get Why You Don't,

For Fucks Sake,

He/Her Is Just An Asshole,

Thats Just It.

Tonight,

I'm Gonna Try Not To Fall Asleep,

I'm Just Going To Lie In My Un-Comfortable Bed And Just Be,

I'm Going To Think About You Until I Finally Doze Off.

We Used To Ration Kisses, Now We Ration Hugs

So Um,

Lately,

I've Been Quoting Lyrics,

Mainly Cause They're Emo And I Have Run Out Of Ideas,

So,

I'm Just Going To,

You Know,

Not Quote.

According To Oprah,

If You Lie A Lot,

You Will End Up To Be A Psychopathic Killer,

And Um,

My Mom Watches Oprah,

So,

You Put Both Things Together,

And Apparently I Am A Psychopathic Killer.

But,

Lying.

See I Lie Because I Know For A Fact That She Wouldn't Like The Truth,

No One Likes The Truth,

So Most Of The Time I Lie,

Don't Get Me Wrong,

Being Truthful Once In A While Pays Off,

But Like I Said

Most Of The Time Lying Is Better.

I'm Not Saying It's Good,

I'm Just Saying It's You Know,

Preferred.

And I Made A Really Cool Caricature Of Fall Out Boy I Think Last Month,

And I'm Probably Going To Upload It,

Here,

But,

I'm Not Promising.

Caricature-To Imitate In An Exaggerated Manner.

I'll Be Sure To Compliment Him When I'm Hitting His Face

She Says She Loves Me,

But She Comes And Goes When She Pleases.

She Claims She Loves Me,

But She Cuts Me Into Pieces,

When I'm Sewed Up,

Here Comes Another Papercut,

But I Love Her.

I Can't Believe I Let Her Run All Over Me,

But All I Think Is,

When She's Here And Holding Me.

I Can't Complain,

I Kinda Like The Pain.

I Love Her.

Bear In Mind That This Is Where Things Go Spectacularly Wrong

'What's Wrong'

Two Words I Have Been Asking Myself.

I Took A Long Walk Home,

It Was Good,

I Thought Of,

Nothing.

It Felt Good To Feel Nothing,

To Just Walk.

Then I Got Home,

Not So Alien Emotions Started Flooding In,

Once Again I Was Drowning In My Thoughts,

With My Novel Read,

I Had Nothing To Distract Me From This Hell,

My Brother Forced Me To Go CC,

I Wasn't Up For It,

Heck I Was Feeling So Lifeless,

My Pee Was Limp.

I Got Home For The Second Time,

Went To Get Some Water,

The Yelling Had Already Begun,

Great I Thought To Myself,

I Took A Shower,

A Warm One,

I Didn't Need A Cold Shower Since The World Was Treating Me Like This.

I Started Listening To The Killers,

I Realised Some Of Their Lyrics Are Emo,

Gives Me A Run For My Money.

Sat In My Bed For About Two Seconds,

Seconds Which Felt Like Hours,

Just Thinking About What Would Happen If I Just Dropped Dead.

I Took The First Thing I Saw,

A Blade,

I Slit My Wrist.

OK,

I Didn't,

Felt Like It Though.

The 'Who' Is Not Important, It's The 'What' You Should Be Worried About

This Is My Blog,

The Only Place I Can Say Anything,

So,

It Might Not Be True But I Wouldn't Do Anything To Change It,

I Like This Blog,

It's The Only Friend I Have Who Would Listen To Me And Then Help Me Share It With People Who Care,

Which Isn't That Much.

Then There's People Who Read It Just To Pick On Me Or Others,

Or To Tell Me That I Should Do Something Else.

I Know I'm Not Making Any Sense But That Just All I Have To Say.

The Whole Day I Have Been Trying To Be Not Emo,

Then I Come Home,

Then,

Well,

If You Have Been Reading You Would Understand.

I Could Tell You I Feel Like Going For A Jog And Then Getting Knocked,

Or That I Want To Fall Asleep And Never Wake Up,

Or Maybe Jump Off A Building,

OR I Could Tell You I Finished Reading My Novel And That It Was The Only Thing Worth Living For,

Just A Little Fantasy To Take Me Away From This Paradise.

I Really Need To Cut Myself,

Like Until I Bleed To Death.

I Don't Want To Go To School Ever Again,

What's The Point Of Going Somewhere Nobody Wants You,

What's The Point Of Going Somewhere Without Friends.

*Sigh*

If I Had A Choice I Would Kill Myself,

And I'm Not Just Saying That,

I Honestly Want To Kill Myself.

Fuck Me,

I'm So Depressed,

It's Not Even A Big Deal.

Now I'm Just Going To Write A Few Lines From One Of The Best Songs Ever Produced,

I'm Head Over Heels For Someone I

That I Can't Really Deal With

I Want To Block Her Out My Mind

But I Really Can't Do It

I Tell Myself It's The Last Time

Imma Let Her Do This To Me

Whenever We Do Spend Time

I Realize That I Can't Get Enough Of You

And Another Verse,

Girl, Just Look What You've Done

How Could You Do This To Me?

I Gotta Put My Foot Down,

I Can't Let You Do This To Me

I Can't Forget Those Good Ol'times

And All The Things You've Been Doing To Me

Yeah..

Say What You Want.

It's Rude To Be Alive When No One Wants You.

I Just Finished Watching Shrek,

The First One.

And I Think It's Probably The Best One.

Teaches A Lot Of Values,

Like Never Judge A Book By It's Cover And Other Stuff.

And It Also Made Me Sad,

I Mean,

Here's This Nice Guy,

Sure He Is Weird And Different,

That Doesn't Mean He Has To Be Treated That Way,

He Is Misunderstood.

Yeah,

I'm Still Depressed By The Way.

Tommorow For Sure,

I'm Just Going To Read A Novel I Just Bought,

By Derek Landy.

I'm Probably The Only Guy In BSD Who Reads His Books.

He Is Epic I Swear,

I'm Reading Skulduggery Pleasant,

I Think Thats How It's Spelt.

It's A Really Cool Book.

Oh And,

Did You Also Know That,

All Of Panic! At The Disco's Song Titles From A Fever You Can't Sweat Out Are Adapted From Lines In Books.

I Love My Life.

I Woke Up Hungry As Hell,

And The Person I'm Probably The Nicest Too Decided That I Wasn't Worth Food.

So,

I Went To My Room And Started Reading A Book,

Finished It About And Hour And A Half Later And Realised Passing Time Isn't Going to Work,

I Took A Shower,

Was About to Go Get Some Food,

Then She Starts Telling Me,

That She Realised I'm A Profesional Liar,

She Then Proceeded With Telling Me How Much I Hated Education When Theres An Exam,

I Will Study My Stupid Brains Out And That Shes Not Going To Support Me After SPM,

She Also Wished Me Luck In Whatever Career I Wish To Pursue.

Great Advice.

So Then I Went Out With Bondy,

Stayed At His House For A Bit,

Watched England Fail Against Algeria I Think,

Then Started Walking To Get Some Food,

We Went To Kedai Kopi Matahari And I Got Really Happy Cause I Saw My 7up Revive Poster There,

I Thought Maybe This Day Isn't So Bad.

I Was Too Happy To Eat So We Decide To Go To CC,

I Went On Facebook,

Saw My Girl Online,

And I Wanted To Talk To Her,

I Said Hey,

And She Was Pissed.

Why?

Because I Never Bring My Phone With Me.

What?

I Just Never Bring My Phone Out,

Happy?

I Swear To God.

After A While,

I Told Her About My Crappy Day,

And Apparently,

I Didn't Tell Her.

I Explained In Brief Detail And,

I Didn't Tell Her.

I Got Home,

And Suddenly She Sends Me A Text All Nice And Shit,

Then I'm Like,

Just A Minute Ago You Hate Me,

Then Now You're All Nice,

Perfect.

Naturally I Get Pissed.

And I'm The Ass.

See That Right There?

The Holidays Have Been Almost Perfect,

Then Today Comes A Fucks It All Up.

So,

I Decided To Sleep In Cause I Haven't Been Sleeping Well Right,

Then I Woke Up At 1.30 Only To Get Nagged About Sleeping Early.

So The Day Continues Not Getting Any Better,

Nagged And Scolding,

Thats All I Get,

Then It Carries On The Whole Day,

Since I Didn't Get To Hang Out With My Friend,

We Went Out.

When I Got Back,

I Heated Some Food Out For Me And My Mom.

The I Wanted To Use The Computer,

I Sat Down,

The Mouse Fell,

It Fucking Fell,

I Didn't Touch The Stupid Mouse,

My Mom Starts Screaming At Me,

It Works And I Didn't Touch It But Its My Fault.

Feeling Pretty Good About What She Had Done She Went To Sleep,

5 Minutes Later My Brother Comes Down And He Starts Scolding Me,

Why?

Cause The Batteries On The Table Started Falling And Its My Fault,

I Start Scolding Him Back And Guess Who Came To The Rescue,

My Wonderful Mom.

She Comes Out Yelling 'Shut Up Sebastian, Shut Up. You Spoil Everything I Can't Admit It's Your Fault, You Lier, You Bastard'

Then I'm Like Its Not Even Spoilt.

She Didn't Care.

The Story Of My Stupid Life.

Fuck It.

I Was Born Second Place

Today,

I Am Going To Make This Post As Relevant As I Can To Its Title.

So,

The Guide To Being The Perfect Bestfriend.

NUMBER 1

First Of All,

Always Treat Your Friend Like Shit,

This Is What Most People Do.

If You Keep This Up For A Certain Amount Of Time,

The Person You're Trying To Be-Friend WILL Like You.

NUMBER 2

Always Feel Insecure.

Now,

This Is A Fact,

Out Of Bestfriends,

There Is Always A Better One,

So You're Job Is To Try To Do Everything You Can To Be Better Than Him/Her.

You Could Go For The Same Crush,

Or You Could Hang Out With Different People And Not Include Your 'Bestfriend'

It Really Helps.

NUMBER 3

This Isn't Really A Tip,

A Guy Knows When His Friend Likes A Girl,

He Just Knows,

And His Friend Might Seem Nice,

But Keep This In Mind,

Noone Is Nice.

Noone.

Not Me,

Not Barack Obama,

Not Angelina Jolie,

Noone.

So..

There You Have It,

2 Tips You Need To Be Known As Someones Best Friend.

Lucas Is A Caricature Of The Devil

There Once Was A Boy,

He Was Calling His Friends And Making Retard Vomiting Sounds,

After A While,

He Really Puked.

So,

He Got Up,

Went To The Toilet Washed It Off.

He Thought To Himself,

"I'll Just Call It A Day"

And Went To Bed,

THE END.

Confessions Of A Mute Retard

Theres Nothing I Want More Than To Be A Surfer,

Maybe Black,

But..

Yeah.

I'm Not Trying To Be Racist,

It's Just,

Black People Are Just SO Cool.

Today Was Quite Something,

Went Out With Bondy To Lily's House,

Met His Girl.

Pretty Good.

Yeah,

But,

Mainly,

Lily Was Good.

We Talked,

She Flirted,

I Probably Flirted Back, I Don't Know,

She Fed Me Cake,

Good Times.

It Was Nice To Be Treated Like That.

Awkward At Times,

But Yeah.

That Is All

Lay The Fuck Off, For The Pope's Sake

Two Gunshots To My Heart,

I'm Not Dead.

Now Four Gunshots,

That's A Different Story All Together.

Now,

The Question Is,

Do You Mean It?

I Swear To God,

Panic! At The Disco Is Increasing My Vocabulary.

I Mean,

Caricature,

Surreptitious.

BIG Words.

I Look SO Buff,

Seriously,

My Arms Are The Size Of Boulders.

Ok,

Not That Big,

But,

Pretty Big.

And My Chest Is Getting Harder,

Just Need To Work On My Soon To Be 8 Pack.

Good Times, Good Times.

I Don't Want To Sleep,

I Just Want An Explanation.

I'm Cancer.

And I Need My Medication,

Or Else I'll Have To Get Cut Open.

Just So You Know,

I Never Disclose Names In My Blog Unless It Is Completely Necessary,

So..

You Don't Have To Assume Anything I Write Has Got Anything To Do About You,

Even If It Has,

It Doesn't.

Honestly,

I'm Offended,

Then Again,

You Didn't Seem To Mind When I Was Born.

The Ocean Scares Me,

It's Unpredictable,

Just Like Someones Finger On The Trigger.

I'm Making Up Stupid Emo Statements.

Sick People.

See Heres The Thing,

It Was Supposed To Rain This Morning,

It Didn't.

Kinda Pissed Me Off.

But Yeah Today Was Ok I Guess.

I Talked To My Friend On Like Monday,

It Made Me Realise What A Lonely Bastard I Am.

Noone Wants To Talk to Me,

I'll Be Like Talking My Ass Off,

Then I Get One Word Replies.

I Seriously Wonder Whats Up With Me.

Its Really Sad When Noone Gives A Shit And You Know It.

Oh And One More Thing,

Doesn't It Frustrate You When You Can't Make Your Girlfriend Laugh As Much As Her Best Guy Friend Can?

Jesus Christ.

That Movie Was Really Screwed Up.

The Guy Is With The Girl,

The Hold Hands And Stuff,

But Theres No,

You Know..

Sucks To Be Him.

Sucks To Be Me.

Emo Sunday.

I'm So Sad Today,

I Just Can't Figure Out Why.

I Haven't Stopped Tearing Since I Woke Up.

..

So,

I Read Our Messages On Myspace,

Made Me Realise I Was Quite Harsh,

Which Also Made Me Sadder,

Then I Watched This Video On Youtube About Ugly The Cat,

My Insides Started To Rupture With Sadness.

I Hate Today.

Seriously,

I Even Feel Like Killing Myself.

See,

Now I'm Tearing Again.

I'm Just Going To Cry Silently Now.

I Am The Worst Parody

The Week Has Been Awesome,

I Can't Remember In Detail What I Did From Monday To Thursday,

But,

Friday Was Amazing,

I Would Tell You About It,

But I'm Not In The Mood,

At All.

I Swear If I Could Crush My Brothers Head I Would.

He Has Been Bribing Me For The Whole Week,

I Gave Him Atleast RM30,

And Today He Wants Me To Take Him To The CC When The Exams Are Next Week While Having Me Pay For Him.

Thats Just Too Much,

I'm So Pissed Off.

Now I Can't Even Talk Without Staying Calm.

I Apologize If My Sentences Are Weird,

I'm Just Fucked Up To Think.

To Top It Of,

I Miss Her So Much,

And She's Probably Skipping School Tommorow..

Fuck.

Now I Know How She Feels.

Exams Are Near,

I Don't Want To Study,

I'm Stressed As Hell.

This Is Like A Hate Post.

I Just Need To Break Something.

This Isn't Helping

Listening To Fall Out Boy Is Good At Times Like This.

So I Didn't Really Feel Like Blogging Until About Just Now.

I Swear To God I'm About To Blow Up,

And The Wound On My Arm Cannot Get Any More Painful.

It All Started Off On Possibly The Hottest Day In The World,

Seriously.

I Was Waiting For A Text And When I Got It I Was The Happiest Man Alive,

Then I Told Her I Wanted To Skip School,

(Now Here Is Where It Gets Interesting)

She Starts Getting Pissed At Me,

School Is Possibly The Most Stressful Place I Know,

And I Can't Skip It.

So,

I Try Apologizing And Trying To Be Nice And I Get Snapped At A Million Times,

Then She Says She Doesn't Want To Talk To Me Ever.

I'm Getting Really Annoyed At This Point,

I Call Her Up,

Guess What?

She Acts As If I'm A Total Stranger.

This Is What Happens When People(In Particular Me) Fall In Love.

For Fucks Sake.

Now I Feel Like The Worlds Biggest Jerk For Skipping School.

I Probably Won't Be Able To Sleep Tonight And This Will Lead Up To Me Failing My Mid-Terms And I Will Get Slaughtered By My Mom.

Apparently,

It's Not Only Happening To Me,

Few Of My Friends Having The Same Problem,

The Difference Is They Make Up,

I Don't Know If She Would Ever Forgive Me For Skipping School.

Fuck My Piece Of Shit Life.

Koreans Are Slowly Taking Over The World, Soon We Won't Be Able To Tell The Girls From Guys.

I Had Like Stuff To Blog About Earlier This Week,

Then I Kinda Forgot Everything Yesterday,

So,

I Thought I Would Just Like Skip Blogging This Week,

Also Because I'm Lazy.

Yeah,

Feeling Really Sick Today,

And I Want To Skip Tommorow.

Guess What?

I Realised I Rarely Keep My Promises,

To Anyone,

Even Myself.

..

So..

Till Next Week I Guess

Most People Don't Respond To Anything I Do On Facebook *Sigh* I'm Just Saying.

Today And Tommorow.

I..I Mean Yesterday.

Yesterday Was Average,

Played Some Basketball,

I Was Like Some Kind Beast,

Running Here And There,

Didn't Score Much But I Would Say I Was MVP Material.

After Some Games,

Went To Shell With Zaki,

Got Some 7Up Revive And A Newspaper And Started Walking Home.

About 1/4 Of The Way There,

It Started To Rain.

Now,

If It Was A Normal Situation,

I Would Be Walking In The Rain,

Since My Mom Wanted The News Paper I Had To Camp At A Playground For A Bit.

I Swear To God,

It Was Colder Than Sweden.

It Was Windy And Cold And Wet And Lightningy,

I Was Freezing,

Tried Warming Myself Up With Some Push Ups,

Didn't Work.

I Ended Up Having A Decent Conversation With Myself.

Today Was Not Bad,

Went To The CC,

Met One Friend,

Half German Danial.

Had A Couple Of Games,

Not That Bad I Guess.

Came Back Played With Sparky A Bit,

Now I'm Here Typing Out This Very Sentence.

Maybe Will Watch Some TV Later.

So Yeah,

Oh And I Keep Wondering Why,

Why Do Girls Like Gay Guys?

For Instance Tom Kaulitz And Justin Bieber.

Why?

What Is Happen*Peter Chao Accent*

Fucking C00l.

That's All I Have To Say About Roshan's Bike,

Saw Like 5 Minutes Ago And I Swear,

The Coolest Honda Bike In The World.

Listened To Lady Antebellum's Need You Know A While Back,

I Still Think They're Awesome.

Today's Topic Is Loneliness.

Now Many People Assume That I Like To Be Lonely,

That I Like To Do Stuff By Myself,

Well Here's The Thing,

I Don't.

I Cannot Stress This Enough,

I Am White,

I Am Not A Robot,

No.

I Listen To Music And Has To Pee Once In A While,

Thats As Normally Human As You Can Get.

So..

Why?

Why Am I Supposed To Be Alone Until I'm At School?

For Once I Want To Play Basketball With My Friends,

Maybe Hang Out Somewhere.

The Only Two Friends I Have Are James/Bondy And Roshan,

Don't Get Me Wrong,

They're Cool Dudes,

But You Cannot Have A Basketball Game With 3 People And Even If You Do They Run Out Of Steam Too Fast,

15 Minutes Tops.

I Guess I'm Gonna Get Off Here,

Lighting Strikes.

It's That Time Of Year Again.

I'm Not A Big Fan Of One Republic,

But I Have To Admit,

They Are Quite Good.

Especially Their New Stuff.

What I Really Wanted To Say Was,

History Always Repeats Itself,

Theres Not Really Much You Can Do.

You Can Try,

But,

You Know.

When Sad,

People Often Become Quiet,

Less Energetic And Withdrawn.

According To Baruch Spinoza,

Sadness Is The Passage Of The Mind To A Lesser State Of Perfection.

I Think,

When People Get Sad,

And They Withdraw,

All Their Relationships Get Screwed Up And,

Well,

Thats About It.

I'm Not Saying I'm Sad Or Anything,

Cupid's Chokehold Is And Amazing Song,

Really Awesome When You Just Listen To It.

And The Music Video Is Really Cool Too.

Sometimes I Just Listen To Music,

And Chill Will Understanding The Meaning.

So..

The Moral Of This Blog Is,

Never Get Your Hopes Up,

You Could,

Then Learn The Hard-way I Guess.

Damn That Green Gentleman Is Awesome

Stop Talking When I'm Trying To Pee

Get This,

Feeling Stuff Makes You A Pussy.

Yeah,

You Heard Me.

So,

I'm Just Saying Having Emotions Are Normal.

Like My Dog, Sparky,

When You Ignore Him,

He Emo's,

When He Misses You,

He Gets Excited.

I Just Don't Get Whats Everyones Problem,

I Guess I Get It,

You People Don't Like Me,

When I'm Emo,

When I'm Me,

When I'm Not Me,

So,

What Do You Want Me To Do?

I Don't Understand Why It's Wrong To Be Human.

Right Now,

I'm Feeling Really Sick,

And Its Wrong Right?

I Can't Get One Republic's Song Out Of My Head,

Don't Really Know What Its Called Yet,

But..

Its Quite Awesome

I Have Been Contemplating Suicide.

Its Been A Month,

Where Are My Comments?

I'm Pretty Emo Today.

Yeah My Family Just Pisses Me Off To Much.

Feeling Kinda Lonely,

Lets Just Say I'm Really Looking Forward To School.

So,

Yeah.

I Feel Like Noone Gives A Shit Anymore,

And I'm Not Gonna Lie,

It Shows When You Don't Feel Right With Someone.

You Can Act All Good And Stuff,

But,

People Realises These Things.

I Think I Should Give This Situation Some Room To Breathe,

Play It Cool,

Cause Sooner Or Later History Will Repeat Itself.

I'm Probably Not Making Any Sense.

Maybe Its All In My Head.

*Sigh*

What's The Point?

Facebook Is Overated,
I Mean,
You Can Post The Most Awesomest Shit,
And Noone Will Respond To It,
If..
You're Not Popular.
Some People Get Their Ideas From Fucking Lyrics,
Or Movies.
Being Me,
I Come Up With My Own Shit,
Sometimes I Lyric-ise But Most If The Time Its Me And My Conscience.
So,
Yeah.
I'm Not Trying To Be A Sour Sulk,
I'm Just Saying.
Another Thing,
Whats Up With People Dis-Liking My Profile Picture?
It's The Most Bestest Profile Picture In The History Of The World.
I Look Like A Super High Rockstar,
And People Want Me To Smile?
Smiling For Pictures Isn't Really My Thing.
Facebook Sucks.
Not Facebook,
Fucking Hypocrites On Facebook.
*Sigh*

I Hope Batman Teams Up With Some Really Cool Superhero Tommorow.

Basically,
Why I'm Blogging Today Is Cause I'm Bored.
Today Was THE Most Boring,
Shit Of A Saturday In THE World.
I Swear,
Got A Little Homework Done,
Then Went To Roshan's,
It Was Ok I Guess,
But Really Boring.
I'm Kinda Looking Forward To Tommorow,
Maybe Play Some Basketball,
But I'm Really Looking Forward To Batman.
So,
Yeah.
I'm Super Bored.

I'm Not Liking This(In A Good Way)

This Week Has Been Pretty Good.
Shit.
My Limewire.
Ok,
That Took Like 5 Seconds.
Anyways,
This Week Was...
I Would Say Awesome,
But,
You Know.
So Yeah,
This Week Was Awesome.
Sorry I'm A Little Un-Straight Forward.
Back To My Blog.
So,
Monday Was Cool,
I Had Fun,
And We Talked,
And It Was Ok I Guess?
Then Tuesday Came,
And Got Bitched Around By This Dude In Class,
And Had A Really Nice Time Laughing Bout It.
Wednesday Was Like The Nuclear Bomb Of Awesomeness,
We Hung Out A Lot,
The Whole Day Actually Thanks To Koko.
Thursday Tried Its Luck Next,
It Was Average.
Wednesday Just Killed Everything Else.
Today Was By Far The Most Boring,
Had Physics AND Chemistry,
Didn't Have Enough Time To Chill.
I Even Got To Go Out But,
Its Not The Same Anymore.
I Guess I'm Just Gonna Wait.
And Live A Little-Gym Class Heroes.

I Taped My Phone So I Could Listen To My Music

I Had Loads Of Stuff To Blog About Yesterday,
But,
My Mind Is A Complete Blur Right Now.
I Guess The Week Has Been Good,
Yeah..
Nevermind,
I Forgot What I Wanted To Write.
Today Has Been Not Bad,
Went Out With Bondy,
Played Some Basketball A While,
And Apparently My Feet Are Small,
So..
Oh And,
A Lot Of People Think I'm Stupid,
Do I Really Look Like A Bimbo?
To Be Fair,
I Am A Little Stupid Sometimes
Just Thought I Should Update You Guys About Stuff,
If I Remember I'll Be Sure To Blog.
One More Thing,
Not To Be Racicts Or Anything,
Most Chinese People When They Smile,
Practically Close Their Eyes.
I Just Thought I Should Point That Out.

When I Listen To Rihanna, I Think About All The Shit In This World.

Today Has Been Really Progresive.
First,
I Had To Wake Up To Get My Prizes And Stuff.
I Arrived At School In My Lame Uniform, Tired As Shit Hoping That It Would End Quick
And Then,
People Wanted To Take Pictures Of Me?
I'm Not Into Cameras At All,
I Wouldn't Mind Taking Pictures Of Myself,
But...
Cameras Just Freak Me Out.
Although,
I Have To Admit I Look Hot.
Anyways,
After I Took My Prizes I Got Home Still Tired
And I Had To Go To Clement Dikoko's House,
Clement Is My Black Friend.
So,
Got To His House And Started Playing CODMW2
And He Pwned Me,
But We Played Co-op For Awhile So,
Quite Cool.
Really Wanted To Play Basketball.
Um,
Thats About It I Guess,
But Clement's Xbox360 Is Really Sweet.

Must I Really?

Today has been one of the most un-productive day in the world.
Boring and kinda sad if you really think about it.
*Sigh*

Like Fall Out Boy Would Say:Tonight Is A Can't Get Much Worse

I might be emotional sometimes,
But I swear,
I never feel like crying during movies.
Except today.
Well,
It wasn't really a movie, more like a TV series.
I will not name this series as you might think I'm weird.
So,
I was watching it and suddenly it became so sad,
Everything around everyone just got screwed up,
And I only feel about stuff if I can relate to them.
Pretty much made my cry,
Almost made me cry.
Blogs are supposed to be about your life so,
Today,
Was really screwed up,
Got nagged at,
TWICE,
Then went out and got blammed for something I didn't do,
To top it off,
My friend left early,
Plus the fact that my brother called me a 'Retard Fuck'
Slammed the computer table and took a shower.
Started to punch the walls,
My knuckles started hurting,
I got out,
Went upstairs and watched some TV,
Came down here,
Checked Youtube and realised Peter Chao closed his account.
And got really pissed of at life,
Now I'm blogging while listening to Fall Out Boy.
The End.
Oh Yeah and I Can't Go Out Tommorow.
Perfect.

The Grammy Awards Does Not Recognize True Talent, I Repeat, The Grammy Awards Does Not Recognize True Talent

So The Grammy Awards Have Passed,
I Decided To Have Like My Own Awards.
Best Break-out Artist Of The Year(So Far)
Lady Antebellum.
They Released Their Second Album,
And It Sold 480 000+ In Their First Week.
They Also Won A Grammy, Best Country Performace, Group.
And Were Nominated For A Few Other Grammy's.
To Me,
They're Like Taylor Swift Plus Kelly Clarkson,
Plus A Band.
They're Country, But They're Quite OK.
Best Comeback Of The Year(So Far)
Blink 182.
In 2005,
They Decided To Go On A Hiatus.
At The Grammy's Travis Barker, Drummer,
Annouced The Reformation.
Both Mark Hoppus And Travis Barker Are Really Talented,
And Therefore They're Awesome.
Best Rock Band Of The Year(So Far)
Kings Of Leon.
We All Know 'Use Somebody'
But,
Some Of Their Other Songs Are Really Cool Too,
You Should Really Check Them Out.
Best Dance Songs Of The Year(So Far)
I Got A Feeling-Black Eyed Peas, Sexy Bitch-David Guetta ft. Akon
I Have To Say,
Both These Songs Were Pretty Good,
And B.E.P Was A Huge Succes With Their Album And All,
Still,
French, David Guetta Never Dissapoints.
Best Producer Of The Years, Past And Present
Timothy Zachery Mosley, Timbaland
The Awesome Bastard Has Had The Opportunity Of Producing Hit Songs For Various Artists.
He Has Also Collaborated With The Worlds Best,
And Produced Timbaland Presents Shock Value.
He Is Easily My Favourite Producer/Idol.
Best Band Ever
And The Award Goes Too,
*DrumRolls*
FALL OUT BOY!!!
The Difference With Fall Out Boy And Other Artists Are The Fact That They Have Loads Of Fun Doing What They Do.
And Sometimes You Don't Get Awards Or Prizes For Doing Stuff You Love.
So To Fall Out Boy,
I Honour You Guys,
I Salute You Guys,
And Most Importantly,
I Support You Guys.
___________________________
All The Above Is Based On My Thoughts And Has Nothing To Do With The Grammies.
Please Don't Sue Me.
Ohh Yeah,
And,
All The Above Are Based On 2009 Besides Timbaland And Fall Out Boy.
___________________________

Most Band Names Relate To Something,
Paramore=Intimate Relationship
Senses Fail=Buddhist Belief In Nirvana

Worst Job In The Malaysia

Did You Guys Ever Realise That,
In Train's Hey Soul Sister,
The Guy Sings "I'm Always Gonna Wanna Blow Your Mind"
First Of All,
What Were They Thinking?
Do They Even Know What It Implies?
And Second,
Wtf Is Up With "Gonna Wanna"?
I Mean,
Besides Being Perverted They Can't Even Make Good Lyrics.
I Don't Really Have A Problem With Train,
It's Just They're Stupid
And They're Un-Creative.
They Repeat The Same Word Atleast A Thousand Times,
And "Radio,Stereo"?
They Mean The Same Fucking Thing.
And It's Not Just Train,
I Don't Like The Radio,
Malaysian Radio To Be Exact.
Almost All The Songs They Play Are Comercialised,
Plain Boring.
Don't You Get Tired Of Listening To Owl City's Fireflies 602 Times A Day?
My Ears Could Turn Inside Out And Pop Off My Head.
I'm Just Saying.
(No Offence Train And Owl City)

I'm Thirsty

Dude,
For Fucks Sake Stop Talking Bout Yourself.
Nah,
This Is Serious.
So,
There Are 3 Main Reasons People Say What They Say,
1.Fear
2.Jealousy
3.Anger
It's These 3 Principles We Live By,
In The Sense Of What We Say.
What I'm Trying To Say Is,
Don't Hesitate,
I Mean If You Think Too Much,
Thats When Your Brain Will Blow Up.
Moral Of This Story Is,
Say What You Want And What You Need,
It May Hurt Others But,
Just Chill.

I Swear I Look Like Chase Crawford, Only Better.

=)
I Now Know How Truly Hot I Am Thanks To Smilling Pictures Of Me.

I Approve This Blog.(Signed, Awesome)

Hey Um..
Do You Remember When I Like Totally Screwed Everything Up For You?
Do You Remember What It Was Even Like?
Do You Remember That Day?
Cause I Still Do,
Not A Day Has Passed When I Think About How Painful It All Felt.
And Now I'm Just Supposed To Automatically Feel Better And Start Talking To You?
I'm Not Saying I Hate You,
Its Just A Lot To Process,
Plus The Fact That I Never Really Got Over It.
So,
I Would Really Like Making Things Right.
Hey That Kinda Rhymes, Doesn't It?
God I'm So Cool.
-Sweeeeb-

Tears Of Joy, Tears Of Fucking Joy.

So Far,
My Week Has Been Abosolute Shit.
No Wait,
Make That My Life.
As We All Know,
I'm In The First Class,
Get This,
It's Insane.
I Swear My Classmates Are A Million Times Smarter Than Anyone.
To Top It Of,
Addmath=3/100
Physics=46/100
Chemistry=58/100
Not One A?
At First It Was Cool,
Then Its Just Sad.
Almost Everyone Makes Fun Me,
And I'm An Asshole?
Whats Up With That?
Just Saying

I'm Like Awesome.

Dude...
Exams Are Like Over.
Awesome.
I Flunked My AddMath,
I Swear To God,
I Didn't Understand Anything.
Other Than That,
It Was All Not That Bad.
Speaking Of Exams,
My Heart Is At Peace With My Mind.
I Know Now What To Do And What To Say.
I Know Right.
I Just Wish I Was Born A Surfer.
I Would Have Made The Perfect Surfer Boy.
-Seb-

I Miss Fall Out Boy.

Most Pathetic Thing On Earth,
Me.
WTF?!
It's Official Noone Cares.
Everytime I Swallow It Feels Like My Throat's Heart Breaks.
I Swear To God,
I'm Lucky to Get 1 Response From Anyone In A Day.
Why Do I Even Try?

Welcome To F.O.B Is Epic Land.

Is It Weird To Have Feelings Towards Someone Who Has Screwed With Your Mind Lots OF Times?
Maybe.
I'm Retarded.
Why?
I Would Love To Tell You.
Lately,
My Heart Is All @#$%,
You Know?
Like Un-describeable.
This Is All Thanks To Emotions.
So,
I Go To School,
And Everything Annoys Me,
I Don't Feel Right Anymore.
This Is Caused By Certain Issues Brought Up By Friends.
These 'Certain Issues' Made Me Think "What If?"
These 'Issues' Have Brought Up Feelings Of Uncertainty,
Even If It Could Be True,
Why?
All These Things Are Stressing The Fuck Out Of Me.
I Just Hope That This Time Things Will Be Different.

"Perfect"

Everyday,
I Look At Myself In The Mirror,
I Think,
"Whats Wrong With Me?I'm Awesome."
"What Drives People To Do The Things They Do To Me?"
And Then I Realised,
I'm A Nice Guy And People Take Advantage Of Me.
Thats Not The Only Problem,
I Forgive To Easy.
My Brain Is Like A Kids Brain,
I See Bad But In My Head Its All Good.
What The Fuck?!
If I Could Like Draw My Brain,
It Would Be Cool And Awesome But Most Importantly,
Eye Opening.
Take Relationships For Example,
Right Now,
I Keep Thinking Of One Person,
Eventhough That Person Has Been A Bitch.
I Look For Replacements But Nothing Replaces This Feeling.
I Hate This.
Most People Don't Deserve Me And Yet,
This.
(I'm Gonna End Like This So You Guys Look Forward To My Next Post)

Timbaland Is Quite Cool.

Life.
I Probably Have Said This Many Times Before.
Life Is Retarded,
Un-Explainable.
My Teacher Always Tells Us 'The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change'
So,
No Matter What Happens,
All You Have To Do Is Keep Moving.
A Broken Heart,
A Broken Leg,
Thats Just Life.
Don't Get Caught Up In The Middle Of The Past.
Be Despised To be Loved.
-Fall Out Boy-
When You're Down,
Talk To Someone,
You Could Go Emo, I Would,
But Then You Will Get Isolated.
I'm Just Telling Everyone That Hardship Isn't The End Of The World.
Live Life With Complete Chill
-Seb-

!@#$%

Tommorow,
School Students All Over BSD Are Going To Do Something Pointless.
It's Official,
Most Malaysians Are Quite Retarded.
Due To Unwanted Retardation,
I Am Not Going.
Speaking Of Not Going,
I Have Skipped Two Days Of School This Week,
Awesome.
I Have A Valid Reason,
But Its On A Need-To-Know Basis,
So,
You Know,
Chill.
My Mind Is Like Blank Right Now
DAFT
...
I'm Tired.
Yeah.
I Know!
=(
Sparky,
My Puppy,
Is Now Living With His Mom At Lucas's Friends House.
Until Further Notice Of Course.
I Miss Him.
A Day Without Him Is Like A Day Without Food.
I Miss Him So Much.
_____________

Anyways,
I'm Out Of Ideas,
So...
Sleep Well.
Will Update Soon?
-Seb-

This Year, History Is Less Dull.

My Hair Is So Awesome,
Its All Up And Cool.
In The Middle Of Siviks,
This Teacher Came In And Looked At My Awesome Hair And Asked Me To Cut It?
Luckily,
Pn.Zarina Came To The Rescue!
My Hair Is Thick According To Her.
Speaking Of Awesomeness,
I Am Now In The 1st Class.
Don't Quite Like It But...
You Know.
Everyone Is SO Smart And Hardworking.
Most Of My Classmates Have Already Finished Next Weeks Homework.
I'm Taking My Time.
Physics,
Well,
Its Confusing.
Add-Maths?
My Teacher Reads From The Book.
Yeah.
So Far,
I Would Say Modern Maths Is The Best.
You Don't Even Need To Count That Much.
Everyone Is So Boring Now,
When We Mix Classes,
All Everyone Does Is Work.
I Don't Like School.
I'm So Odd In My Class,
Everyone Is Like =)
And I'm Like =
Then They're Like "Seb You Look Sad"
And Then I'm Like "=]"
Currently I'm Waiting For Fall Out Boy's Album,
So In The Mean Time,
All I Listen To Is Dashboard Confessional.