Do You Remember The Way I Held You Hand?

Where Do I Start?

"The Only Thing In Life Which Is Constant Is Change"

Yeah

Everything Changes,

The Only Way Any Of Us Is Going To Live Is By Moving Forward,

Sure It Can Be Hard,

You'll Miss Your Parents,

Your Friends.

But

Theres Really Nothing Much You Can Do

Just Keep Living,

Sometimes Its For The Best,

Like

Better Schools

Or Better Lifestyle

I Can Say

Its Really Much Nicer Here,

Like Right Now

You Can Here Music Out In The Streets

You Can See People Dancing,

Having Fun,

Even Though It's Freezing

So Yeah

At First

It Will Be Hard,

But Seasons Change,

From Winter,

It Changes To Spring

Then Summer

It Will Get Better,

Just Chill

You Probably Wont

Cause You Think You Cooler Than Me

Allah Is The Arabic Word For God, I Think If That Isn't Allowed To Be Said By Non-Muslims, We Might As Ban The Word God Being Said In Other Languages

For One,
I'm Keeping On Hold What I Should Be Doing,

For Hope.

I Just Don't Get It,

You Say You Don't Want Anymore Right,

Then I'm Nicely Talking With My Friend

Then You Butt In?

Seriously

What The Fuck?

And Being The Pussies These People Are,

They're Going To Show All These To Teachers,

Who're Not Going To Listen To Me,

So,

What's The Point?

And

I Really Hope You People Are Proud Of Yourselves,

There's Nothing Else I Can Say,

You Seriously Think That By Doing What You Did Things Won't Result In Total Melancholy?

I Just Don't Get It,

I Mean,

You Knew I Was Leaving,

Let Me Leave In Peace,

Maybe What I Did Was Wrong In Your's And Everyone Elses Eyes,

But To Me,

It Was,

It Was Like Nothing I Can Describe,

And I Don't Regret It For A Second

So,

Say What You Can Say,

To Whoever You Want To Say It To,

And Let Me Handle This On My Own,

Cause,

Obviously,

Anyone Who Tries To Help,

You Lie To The Teachers And Say Whatever Would Make Them Believe,

Yeah,

Show This Post To Them I Dare You,

Tell Them What I'm Saying Is The Truth,

Cause For The Most Part,

It Is.

I'm Alone In This

My Friends Aren't Allowed To Back Me Up

And Yeah Thats Pretty Much It,

I Think It's Quite Unfair That,

Because You're Malay And When Your Friends Meddle Its OK,

But When My Friends Stand Up For Me,

It's Wrong.

One Day,

When I'm All Grown Up,

I'll Write A Book,

About Every Single Shit That Has Happened To Me

And There'll Be One Whole Chapter Bout This,

And I Hope You Get Yourself A Copy To Realize What You Put Everyone Through

Even If It Was My Fault

Life Is Like Down Syndrome Kids Making New Friends

Should We Be Blamed For The Decisions We Make And The Mistakes That Follow?

I Honestly Think

We Should Learn By Ourselves,

I Mean

Helping Would Mean You Just Want To Spoil Someone

And

Yeah.

I Made Decisions With Someone

And Technically

We Didn't Do Anything Wrong

It's Only A Crime If I Get Caught

And As Long As I Didn't Get Caught

It Was Good,

It Was Perfect,

My Life Was Perfect,

Now,

Everyone In School Is Against Me

Even Her,

I Mean

If You Love Someone

You Don't Go And Support The Enemy

You Stay By The One You Love

And Get In Trouble Together

I'm Just Sad, Angry And Dissapointed

I Just Don't Know What To Say Anymore

I Don't Know What To Think.

And If Everyone Thought That I Was Bad When I Was With You,

I'll Prove Them Wrong,

I Have Been Shisha-ing

And Other Stuff

Other Good Stuff.

Damn

Can't Wait For Tommorow,

It's Going To Be So Epic

Yeah

Thats Bout It

Bullet Wounds Fixed With Bread And Cling Wrap, Tears In His Eyes, He Watched His Life Fall Apart

He Woke Up Today,

Feeling Dissapointed.

He Wasn't Hungry,

He Skipped Breakfast,

The Boy And His Mom Planned To See Their Dog,

Sparky,

Three Long Hours In The Car,

All The Boy Wanted To Do Was Be With The Girl,

Not Much Was Said Between The Boy And His Mom,

They Got To Sparky's New House,

He Was So Excited To See Them,

He Was Going Crazy,

He Jumped On All Of Them.

If You Had Looked Into Sparky's Eyes You Would Recognize His Happiness,

It Would Melt Your Heart,

It Sure Melted The Boy's Heart,

For The Short Time They Were There,

Everything Seemed To Make Sense,

The Boy Was Lost In Sparky's Presence

He Thought Of How He Had To Tell His Mom What Had Happened Yesterday,

He Knew She Would Be Dissapointed.

They Boy Said His Goodbyes,

And Left,

Not Knowing When He Would Get The Chance To See Sparky Again.

Another Three Long Hours Were Spent In The Car,

It Started To Rain And It Got Really Cold,

Now More Than Ever The Boy Wanted To Hold Her,

He Got Home Took A Shower,

Summing Up Enough Courage To Tell His Mom What Happened,

In The Beginning,

She Was OK,

The She Started Shouting At Him,

Calling The Girl All Sorts Of Names,

Calling The Boy Stupid,

She The Said The Boy Was A Huge Dissapointment,

And She Thanked God I Was Going,

She The Said That The Girl's Parents Could Sue.

She Ended Up Crying.

The Boy Locked Himself In His Room,

He Lied On His Bed,

Started To Cry Silently,

He Wanted To Slit His Wrist,

So Many Thoughts Filled His Head

A Tale Of Love And Betrayal

We All Know H0w The Story Begins,

The Boy Falls In Love With The Girl,

The Girl Breaks His Heart,

The Boy Has Lost His Will To Live,

He Gets Over It And Is Looking Forward To A New Year,

Then She Comes Back To Him,

All This Feelings Start Rushing Into Him,

He Does What He Knows How,

And Loves.

Things Start Picking Up Between The Boy And The Girl,

Soon Both Of Them Are In Love,

And When People Are In Love,

They Do What People In Love Would Do,

Even If It Breaks The Rules,

All The Boy Thinks About Is Her,

He Forgets School Completely,

He Doesn't Even Mind Not Doing Stuff People In Love Would Do,

He Just Wants To Be With Her.

Things Start To Change In The Boys Life,

He Has To Go To Another Country,

He Tries To Spend As Much Time As He Can With The Girl,

They're So In Love.

One Day,

One Perfect Day,

While The Two Weren't Noticing,

The Friends They Trusted,

Took Pictures Of Them,

And Showed It To The Teachers,

Now,

You Might Think Why

I Myself Am Not To Sure,

I'm Just Telling You The Story,

The Boy Promises The Girl It'll Be OK,

He Holds Her Hand And Promises Her It'll be OK,

She's Crying And Her Keeps Assuring Her.

About A Day Later,

The Boy Tells The Girl Something He Heard From One Of His Friends,

"We Might Get Suspended" He Says,

She Just Breaks Down Into Tears,

He Wants To Hold Her,

She Pushes Him Away,

He Goes To Class But He Is So Frustrated,

He Goes To See Her,

He Tries To Hold Her Hand,

She Pushes Him Away,

At This Point,
The Boy Is At A Lost,

He Doesn't Know What To Do,

He Wants To Talk To Her,

But He Knows She Would Probably Never Talk To Him Again.

They Both Get Called To The Office Later That Day,

Stuff Was Said,

And Eventhough The Boy Wanted To Be Blamed,

Being Blamed Wasn't Fun,

They Treated Him Like A Rapist,

A Terrorist,

They Accuse Him Of Things Without Proof,

They Accuse Them Of Things,

The Girl Wouldn't Even Look At The Boy,

At The Brink Of Tears The Boy Starts Walking To His Car,

He Sees The Girl With Another Guy,

Not Only Is He Being Treated Like A Terrorist,

She Goes And Talks To Another Guy,

His Fist Are Clenched,

He Gets The Urge To Punch Him So Bad,

He Looks Past Them,

He Knows If He Did What He Wanted,

He'd Be In More Trouble Then He Already Is.

2 Hours Later,

The Boy Goes Out To See His Brother,

They Have Some Whisky,

And The Boy Tells His Brother What Happened,

His Brother Suggested They Go See The Friends They Trusted,

They Gave Excuses,

And Ended Being Brave In Facebook.

Pathetic.

They Boy And His Brother Goes To See Their Little Brother,

The Found Their Little Brother's Sister Shisha,

They Tried It Out,

I Was The Boys First Time And He Was Ecstatic,

Smoking Shisha,

Seeing Friends For The Last Time,

It Was Good,
He Gets Home,

And Hangs Out With His Little Brother Abit,

His Brother Shows Up With A Friend,

They Hang Out For A While,

Then His Brother Suggested The Go Out,

So They Hope On To Their Motorcycles,

Go To A Shop,

Gets Some Ciggarettes And Start Smoking,

At First The Boy Didn't Want It,

Then He Thought,

Might As Well,

Since He Is Going In A Week And The Girl Isn't Talking To Him,

He Does His Stuff,

He Gets Home He Falls Asleep

July, A Month Of Dashed Hopes

I'm Sad,

I Thought Going For The Sake Of Making My Mom Being Happy Would Keep Me,

You Know,

But,

When She Put It That Way,

I Felt Like Bursting Into Tears,

I Mean,

I Didn't Choose To Go.

I Will Miss Her,

So Much,

Too Much,

I'll Miss Probably My Only Two Good Friends,

James Freer,

Roshan Sharma,

I'll Miss Sparky,

I'll Miss My Mom A Lot.

But Honestly,

I'll Just Be Sad,

It'll Probably Be Awesome,

But I'll Just Be Sad For A While.

I Don't Know How To Be,

I Mean,

Now That I Know,

It'll All Just Disappear,

Everything,

I Try To Be Positive About It,

But The Truth Is,

I'm Going,

I, Sebastian Pettersson, Am Probably Going To Spend A Long Time In Sweden,

And,

I'll Be Sad,

For The Most Part,

I'll Be Sad.

I'll Just Skip To The Good Part.

I Just Don't Know What To Say,
How Bout,
Do You Ever Get So Sad,
That You Feel Nothing In The Shower?
I Miss Her So Much,
And I Probably Am Going To Be Shipped To Sweden.
When Things Get Hard,
You Don't Leave,
You Don't Give Up,
You're Supposed To Be There When Someone Needs You,
You Can't Just Walk Away,
Then When Everything's Better You Come Back,
I'm Not Blaming Anybody,
People Get Scared,
Heck,
I'm Scared,
I Don't Want To Go To Sweden,
Not Now,
Not Yet.
All That Really Matters I Guess,
Is If That Two People Truely Love Each Other,
Things Will Work Itself Out,
I Hope.
I Just Want To Hold Her Now,
Tell Her Everything Is Going To Be Ok,
Tell Her I Love Her No Matter What,
Tell Her I'm Not Going To Leave Anytime Soon.
At Times Like These,
I Want To Take A Blade,
And Slit My Wrists,
Then It'll Be Over.