We Had A Good Run, Indeed I Have To Admit

Babe,
It's time this blog set sail,
It has run its course,
I'm proud of this blog
We have had good and bad times,
And this blog has helped me through those times,
I'm going to miss this little bastard,
Although,
When a story ends,
Another begins.

Don't Get Scared

This goes out to all those kids who feel alone,
Some time or other,
You are not alone,
Millions of kids feel the same way,
Some have no way of getting rid of the pain the feel,
So it slowly eats them.
It is very important to vent,
Talk to someone, blog, watch TV,
Go to your happy place,
And please, please, open up
People die from depression everyday,
One day someone you know might commit suicide,
Be a friend,
Show support, show someone you care
Love,
Cause that plays a major part in helping.
Sometimes, you feel so depressed,
You feel like nothing helps you,
Be alone for awhile,
Don't cut, don't do drugs,
Listen to music, paint,
Express your creative-ness
It's not stupid and no one will judge,
Those who judge anyway are stupid and unlike you,
Insignificant.
Everyday I do something to get my mind off things,
Thats not the best way but it works,
Trust me,
You HAVE to vent,
Avoiding your pain will just allow it to build up,
And one day you're going to snap
Feeling like this isn't the end of the world,
Emotional pain can be cured,
Just know that you aren't the only one out there,
It might help with your fears.

Imagine A Blind Fish Swimming Through A Light-less Sea

The Boy Feels Like He Is Engulfed In Darkness,
His Whole Body,
His Mind,
His Soul,
Is Drowned With Darkness.
Occasionally He Would Turn On A Lamp,
And It Would Be Fine For Awhile.
A Superficial Light Force,
Putting A Smile On His Face,
Keeping Him Happy For A While.
But Sometimes,
That Lamp,
Just Turns Off.
The Boy Once Again Feels The Darkness Surrounding Him,
And He Can't Do Anything About It.
He Is Miserable,
He Is Dying On The Inside.
Then He Sees This Sunshine,
This Radiant White Light,
She Comes When She Wants But She Is Never Around,
When She Is,
She Is Most Of The Time Followed By Shadows.
She Gives The Boy Hope For A Few Minutes.
Then He Begins To Realise That,
He Can't Have Her For Himself.
Off  He Goes,
Towards The Darkness.

The World Is Vicious

Kid Cudi is getting sober and that means that his music will just be different,
I have to admit being pretty skeptical bout it being good or not,

But I realised that,

Kid Cudi doesn't need Weed to make music,

He feels music,

He is the whole definition of music.
His songs have so much meaning,

So much depth and thought into his life,
So much advice he gives to other and most importantly, himself.
Sure weed might give him inspiration,
But weed just brings out the awesome in him faster,
Kid Cudi doesn't need weed to be awesome,
He was born awesome.
I'm happy he decided to get sober,

This is a new chapter for him,
A revolution for his music.

I honestly cant wait for his new stuff.

Mother And Bondy, Things You Hurt Without

I'm Sitting On The Floor Of My Narrow Halled-Apartment,

Listening To The Epic Kid Cudi,

And I Think,

What Happened To Mankind?

What Have They Reduced Themselves To?

Doesn't Anyone Have A Heart Anymore?

Why Does Mankind Fuck With One Another For No Apparent Reason?

It Puzzles Me,

Cause I Remember For A Fact,

There Use To Be A Time When Everyone Just Loved,

When No One Gave A Fuck About Anything?

What Happened To This Epic Race?

How Did We Change?

Honestly.

Everyone Should Be Friends,

No One Should Have Any Feelings Of Resent Towards Another,

It's Wrong.

Probably The Worst Part Of It All Is,

No One Wants To Admit Their Feelings,

Everyone Is Afraid Of Getting Their Ego Shattered That We've Lost All Our Love And Sympathy,

Don't Start On Shame,

No One Feels Shame Anymore,

Especially When They Fuck You Over,

They Go On As If Nothing Happens.

I'll Tell You,

Only In Sweden.

I'm Sad,

For What We've Become,

It's Ashame,

We Had So Much Potential.

Ben 10 Fruit Drinks And Non-Alcoholic Pear Cider.

Life Is Short,

It Comes And Goes Just Like That,

It's Not Something You Plan,

It's Something That Happens.

Just Look Back At What You've Done,

Was It Worth It?

Was It Healthy?

Sometimes Was It Legal?

Probably Not,

But It Sure As Hell Was Fun,

Think About Everyone You've Shared You're Life With,

Goods And Bads,

All The Laughter And Pain,

And It's Just Overwhelming,

All The People You've Met,

Places You've Been,

I Hope It Made You The Person You Are Today,

Not Perfect,

But You,

Sure It's Not Always Pretty,

But It's You

And You're Here,

Make The Most Of It

Cause Life Is Short.

And Whenever You're Feeling Down,

Just Tell Yourself,

"Hey, This Isn't So Bad, There's More To Look Forward To"

There Is,

Trust Me.

I Guess,

What I'm Trying To Say Is,

Live And Love,

There's Pretty Much Nothing Better To Do,

Oh And,

Tell The People You Love,

How Much They Mean To You

You Never Know When They'll Leave Your Side.

John 14:27

Peace I Leave With You; My Peace I Give You. I Do Not Give You As The World Gives. Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled And Do Not Be Afraid

Something Along The Lines Of Ducks, I Don't Know

Life Is Weird,

Honestly,

You Can Be Having The Time Of Your Life

And All Of A Sudden,

Something Trips,
And Everything Changes,

Everyone Gets Depressed And Piss Off,
And Really Who's Fault Is It?

I Don't Even Know Who To Blame.

I See My Life As A Really Long Story

Where It's Not Just Me You Know,

It's Like Everyone In My Life Aswell,

And What They Do,

In Even The Slightest Way Affect Me.

I Don't Know What I'm Trying To Say,

But,

Yeah,

I Don't Know.

You Know What We Should Do?

We Should All Just Stop Thinking,

Just Imagine If There Was A Day,
Where No One Used Their Head,

There Would Be So Much Happiness,

So Much Simplicity

For A Moment,

We Would Just Sit And Just Chill

And Just Forget

Cause Life Is Short

And We Shouldn't Wallow In Self Pity

Or Despair

We Should Just Live And Love

So Yeah

Stop It

If You're Sad,

Stop Being Sad And Be Awesome Instead

Everyone Is Awesome In Their Own Way

And We Shouldn't Be So Bummed Out That Some People Don't See It That Way

I Mean

No One Really Cares

Just Chill The Fuck Out

I'm Not Made Of Steel

I Tell Myself Everyday I'm Awesome,

I Look At Myself,

I Say,

Why Am I So God Damn Handsome?

I Say,

I'm Awesome

But,

Deep Down,
I'm Torn Up,

I'm Broken.

And It Sucks.

Some Days I Feel So Happy,

So Glad To Be Alive,

But Most Days,

I Feel Like Crying,

I Feel Like Lying In Bed Till The Sun Sets,

Twice.

I Think About My Mom And Dad,

How It Would Be Perfect If My Mom Was There For Me Again,

How She Would Listen

And Atleast Take Into Consideration What I Tell Her,

I Wish,

I Could Hold Her Again,

I Miss Her

And Her Smile

And Her Smell.

How Perfect It Would Be If My Dad Had Been There For Me,

How He Could Have Atleast Tried To Be A Father,

Where Was He When I Needed Him?

I Pray More Than Ever,

To Have Someone I Could Look Forward To,

Someone Who Would Look At Me And Just Understand,

Someone To Give Me A Hug With Love,

Someone To Kiss Me Goodnight.

Cakes And Perfumes.

I Feel So Awesome Today,

I Felt So Special,

I'm Awesome.

After Your Dreams Have All Died And Morning Isn't Morning, What Are You?

It Is Depressing Knowing That Your 'Friends' Don't Want To Spend Time With You,

When They Find You Weird,

When You Just Feel They That Don't Like You.

It's Not Ok To Do That,

It's Not Ok To Ignore The People You Used To Hang Out With,

It's Not Ok To Be Mean To Them Even If It's Just For Kicks.

I Know Nobody Is Perfect,

And We All Make Mistakes Just Like Everybody Else,

We Say Stupid Things,
We Do Stupid Things,

Don't Judge,

Don't Hate,

Accept,

Give People Room To Grow,

I Mean Its Alot Better To Tell The Truth Than To Ignore.

Doesn't Matter Colour,
Doesn't Matter Intelligence,

Doesn't Matter Looks,
We Are All Human,

And We Have Feelings,

We Have Feelings Which Can Be Hurt.

I Don't Appreciate Any Of This More Than Anyone I Know,

Friends Are Supposed To Understand And Support,

Friends Should Give Space For Us To Mature,

To Think For Ourselves,

Friends Shouldn't Make Friends,

Feel Bad,

Friends Shouldn't Use Friends,

Be It Physically Or Emotionally.

What Happened To Us?

Somewhere Along The Lines,

We Lost Each Other.

Nothing Feels Worst Than Being Left Out,

I Hope Your Proud.

He Seems Alive.

I'm Sad And Pissed Off,

And I Don't Know What It Is,

I'm Just So Damn Blue.

I Just Feel Like Cutting My Eyeballs,

So That I Won't Have To See The Evil And The Unjustice In This World.

I Don't Even Know Why I'm Feeling Like This,

I'm In No Mood To Think,

There's So Much In My Head,

I Can't Filter Them,

It's Just A Big Jumble Of Emotion.

And My Heart,

That's The Worst.

It's Not Talking To Me,

I Don't Know What He Wants,

He Is So Sore,

And Always In Constant Pain.

I Can't Sleep,

I Just Toss And Turn,

I Wake Up In Cold Sweat,

Confused,

Thinking To Myself,

Why Doesn't It Ever End,

I Just Want To Go,

Just Peacefully Go.

I Want To Wake Up And Know That,

I'm Somewhere Everyone Feels The Same,

Glad.

Wake Up And Feel Awesome

I'm Really Confused And Pissed Off,

It's Either One Or The Other.

Confused Cause,

I Just Don't Know What I'm Doing Anymore,

And Being Lead On Really Doesn't Help,

The Fact That I Don't Know How To Express How I Feel Does Alot To Add To My Confusion.

Ok,

To Get Shit Straight,

I Am Not Gay Or Anything,

My Facebook Has Been Constantly Raped,

So Yeah.
Really Pissed Off Cause,

Nothing Ever Goes My Way,

No One Really Listens

And My Brother Just Does Everything He Can To Ruin My Life.

I Mean Let Me Be,

Let Me Do What I Want.

Enough Of That.

My Friend Got Me Thinking,

Is What I Doing Right?

Is It Worth It?

It Seems Like Nothing Is Going My Way,

So Yeah

I Should Chill.

This World Is Too Big For Me And Me Trying To Be On Top Is Not A Good Idea,

Made Up My Mind,

I Will Chill.

Live Life With Complete Chill,

Remember?

I'll Be Fine *Not*

Yeah,

I Just Watched An Episode Of Vampire Diaries

And It's So Sad,

Damon,

The Bad Ass Nice Guy,

Loves Katherine, This Foxy Vampire,

But She Doesn't Love Him Back, She Loves Stefan,

So He Gets Depressed And Upset,

And He Tries Stuff Out With Elena, Human Look Alike Of Katherine

And She Says She Loves Stefan.

I Mean,

Two Heartbreaks In One Night,

A Man Can Only Take So Much.

But I Mean,

I Admire Him,

He Always Acts Cool,

He Acts As If Nothing Phases Him,

Nothing Hurts Him,

And He Just Goes On Living Life,

People Hate Him,

He Doesn't Give A Shit.

I Mean,

On One Hand,

You Can Really Do Whatever You Want,

On The Other,

You Can't Hold On To Anyone

And That's Not Very Fun Sometimes,

Sometimes You Just Need To Be Loved,

To Feel Loved.

It's Frustrating Sometimes,

Going Home,

Knowing There's Nothing To Look Forward To But Going Out The Next Day,

Knowing There's No One At Home Waiting For You,

Wanting You.

The World Is Not A Nice Place,

It's Only Nice If You Make It.

Lets Relapse And I'll Be Your Only Regret

Some Times I Look At Myself,

Think Of Everything I Ever Did,

Everyone I've Ever Dissapointed

And

I Just Feel Like Crying

But I Just Can't

I Mean

I Feel Sad And Torned Up Inside,

My Throat Chokes Up And My Nose Feels Weird,

My Eyes Water,

And Then,

That's Just It,

No Tears.

Do You Know How Bad That Feels?

The Worst Part Is,

No One Gets Me,

And I Can't Tell Anyone,

Cause One Way Or Another They Just Drift Away,

It Could Be Family Or Even Just Friends,

But They Drift,

And It's Always My Fault,

Cause I Constantly Go Agaisnt What I Say,

Time And Time Again.

I Realise I Hurt People But My Conscience Is Just So Worn Out He Doesn't Even Care Until It's Too Late.

I Try To Be A Good Son,

But I Fail Miserably,

I Dissapoint My Mom Cause Nothing I Do Is Ever Good Enough.

I Try To Be A Good Brother,

I Try My Best But I'm Just An Asshole Most Of The Time.

I Don't Even Have The Guts To Apologize For All This Bullshit.

I Try To Be A Good Friend,

I Hear My Friends Out,

Then I Get Too Close And When I Actually Start To Feel Stuff,

I End Up Doing Something Stupid To Push Them Away.

I Hate My Life Cause I'm Sebastian Pettersson.

I'm Just Never Good Enough.

I'll Go About Pretending I'm Happy,

Putting On My Perfect Smile,

Just For Sakes

But It Kills Me Inside.

Everyday I Long For This Pain To Atleast Slowly Fade But It Doesn't.

I Go To Bed Everything Just Praying I Don't Wake Up And Have To Go Through This Nightmare.

I'll Be Fine.

I Will Burn Myself If I Had A Blowtorch

I'm So Pissed Right Now,

With My Brother And Just At Life Mainly.

I Just Want To Scream,

And Just Break Something,

And Just Scream Until My Stupid Lungs Give Out.

I Swear To God,

Why?

How Could Does Be Fair,

I Feel Like Burning Myself,

You Know,

But I Can't,

Cause That Would Just Mean,

I'm Afraid,

And I'm Not,

I'm A Bastard.

I Need To Drink.

And Scream.

I Want To Get High.

I Miss Bondy And Sparky And Fish.

I'm Just So Pissed,
And I Snap So Easily,

I Swear,

I Need To Manage My Stupid Anger.

French Toast For Breakfast

I'm Listening To Kings And Queens-Thirty Seconds To Mars

It's Nice How Its Just Playing,

You Know.

I'm Getting Really Frustrated,

It's Really Not Fun When You Have To Consider Others,

I'm Getting Slightly Pissed Off,

I Mean,

Its Really Not Fair

Then Again,

Life Isn't Fair,

But Don't I Atleast You Know,

Get A Shot?

I Swear To God.

Dark Days

I Just Want To Get High,

I Just Feel Like It.

I've Been Listening To Lots Of Kid Cudi And This Guy Is Just,

He's Just Cool.

I Mean,

Go Ahead, Listen To Him,

It's Just Like Magic,

It Makes You Want To Smoke Weed,

And His Lyrics Are Just,

You Know,

Profound.

I Guess,

I Don't Know.

I'm Shaking,

Don't Know Why.

And,

It's Sad,

My Friend,

Our Friend,

He Is Going,

And He Is Just So Cool,

I Haven't Known Him Long But He Is Just So Cool,

I'm Going To Miss Him.

I Miss Bondy,

And My Mom,

And Sparky.

I Really Want To Get High,

See What It Feels Like,

Enjoy That Moment,

When Nothing Else Matters,

And Everything Is Just Perfect, Even If Its For A Second,

Then,

I Want To Get Into A Fight,

Get Hit.

Then I Would,

Go Back To My House,

And Lie My Head Down On My Pillow,

With A Smile On My Face,

Thinking To Myself,

"You're Awesome"

And Slowly Fall Asleep,

And Fall Into A World Of Dream.

Her Heart Is Breaking In Front Of Me

It's Been A While Since We Talked Bout The Boy,

Well,

The Boy Has Been Getting On Pretty Good I Would Say,

He Has Moved On To Another Chapter Of His Life,

He Is Trying To Live.

So Far He's Been Getting Along Just Fine,

Until About Recently,

The Water Started To Get A Little Murky,

True Colours Were Being Shown,

And The Boy Was Really Confused,
On One Hand,

He Doesn't Want Anything To Change,

On The Other,

He Wants So Badly For Things To Do.

He Gets Thrown A Little Off Balance With The Occasional Madness Here And There But He Stands Up Ok,

The Boy Doesn't Want To Get Involved,

He Wants To Live Free,

But He Can't Help It,

He Would Feel So At Peace If It Could Be Considered

The Plot Thickens,

Things Start To Happen,

People Start To Get Hurt,

Lies Are Being Blatantly Told,

The Boy Is In A Position Where He Should Be Someones Shoulder,

Someones Rock,

He Doesn't Know If Thats What He Did,

He Isn't Sure If He Followed His Heart Or His Head,

Either Way,

He Didn't Consider Anyone Else,

He Was Being Somewhat Selfish,

The Boy Figured,

Why Not,

He Regrets It Though,

The Guilt Starts To Pour In,

He Keeps It In,

Just As He Always Had.

The Night Ends

One Word Frees Us All Of Weight And Pain Of Life; That Word Is Love

I've been so sad lately,

I really have no clue what it is.

I mean,

I'm always so sad and it's depressing not knowing what it is and having to deal with it,

I feel like I don't have a reason to live anymore,

I mean,

What am I doing?

I'm doing OK in school,

But what am I doing?

I'm fooling around

I'm acting like a bastard,

This is just not me,

I honestly think,

Subconsiously,

I'm afraid to open whats left of my God forsaken to anyone

And by doing so,

I'm not letting any happyness in

I could be wrong,

I usually am.

I could also be sad because,

My mom is not talking to me,

The closest person I have to me won't spend a few minutes to let me know it's OK

I pretend like I'm cool

But I miss her,

I do,

Or I could be sad because,

I lost my friends,

Two best friends of mine,

Two best friends I could talk to,

Who didn't really give a shit bout who I was rather, accept me for who I am

Friends who would cancel plans just to hear bout my day.

Or I'm not sad,

I just pretend to be sad because I don't want to be happy.

Maybe,

I just need to be shown some love,

Some genuine love,

A hug which doesn't feel empty,

A conversation which brings my spirit up.

I shouldn't feel like this,

I'm Sebastian Pettersson,

Nothing brings me down,

Accept maybe nothing,

I'm merely human,

I bleed,

I hurt.

It's All A Game Of This And That

Why Does Every Moment Have To Be So Hard?

I'm Just Trying To Live, To Have Fun

And That's Wrong?

Cause I Think I Deserve It,

I've Been Through Shit And I Can't Have Fun?

I Mean

Why Does Everyone Think They Control My Life,

They Dictate What I Have To Do To Live And When I Don't Do As They Want They Just Cut Me Off.

It Fucking Hurts,

Knowing That No One Really Gives A Shit Anymore,

Do I Look Like Trash?

Am I That Un-Important?

As Much As Anyone Would Like To Think,

I Have A Heart,

I Have Feelings,

They Hurt.

And I Can't Do Anything About It Cause I Don't Know What To Do,

I Just Don't,

No One Is Helping,

No One Supports Me,

And I'm Just Sad.

You Said You Wouldn't Care If I Was With Another Girl,

You Said You Wouldn't Mind,

Then When I Am With Another Girl,

Its Wrong?

Help Me Understand.

____________________________________________

This Is Meant For Two People And Two People Only,

Two People Whom I Thought Cared,

Two People Who Was Supposed To Be There For Me.