Not Everything In This World Is My Fault.

I'm Out Of Ideas,
Out Of Inspiration.
I Guess I'll Just Say Random Things.
First Of All,
Fall Out Boy Is The Most Awesomest Band In The World.
Second,
The Cab And Mayday Parade Are Bands You Should Look Out For.
And Third,
Some Malaysian People Are Fucked Up.
My Definition Of Fucked Up 'Malaysian People'
Is Foreign People Born In Malaysia.(Except James, He Is Awesome)
So Normal Malaysian People Are Ok I Guess.
Please Take This To Heart 'Malaysian People'
And With Every Breath I Wish Your Body Would Be Broken Again.
One More Time,
Normal Malaysians Are Awesome-ish.
So Enough About Stuff.
I Realised That I Deserve A Lot Better.
Instead Of The Usual Bullshit.
I Guess What I'm Saying Is...
I'm Moving On And Changing My Lifestyle.
No More Desperation And No More Push Over-Ness.
So If You're Looking To Hook Up(Girls Only),
Promise You Won't Break My Heart.

-Seb-

Can I Just Fucking Die?Please?

THE HOLIDAY-HeartBroke
It All Started On A Beatiful Friday Morning.
Seb's Alarm Was Ringing And He Was Supposed To Get Up And Meet His Friends At Their Study Group Thing..With The Help Of His Mom He Was All Ready.
As Seb And Zaki Walked To Loo's Place He Was Pretty Excited Mainly Because He Would See Her..When All Of Them Reached McD,
Seb Was Dissapointed To Not Seeing Her And Got A Little Worried.
After A While She Showed Up And Seb Was Blown Away At How Pretty She Looked..The Guy Who Practises All Of His Lines In The Mirror Had Nothing To Say And Just Admired Her..
Like Around 3 Hours Later She Said Some Stuff And Seb...
Well Seb Was Torn Up Inside.
Every Bone In His Body Felt Weak.
All Of His Blood Started To Freeze..
And Once Again She Had Left Him Heart Broken.
Holding Back His Tears..
He Just Sat There, Thinking Real Hard On What To Do Next..
They Didn't Talk Much After That
Not With Each Other Anyways.
When It Was Time To Go..
Seb Waited For His Friends And She Gave Him A Hug.
And They Went Outside For A Bit..
They Went Back In..
Deciding It Was Best To Stay.
The Guys Just Left Her There Eventually And Seb Wanted To Stay But His Heart Was Bleeding All Over The Place And Just Needed To Go..
Zaki And Seb Walked To James' House And Stayed There For A Bit..
Before Zaki Had To Go Tuition.
On The Way There Seb Was All Depressed And Weird Telling All His Bullshit To Zaki..
Zaki Gave Some Advice And Stuff But Seb Was Still Fucking Sad..
Seb Decided He Was Going To Move On But After A Whole Day He Started To Miss The Person He Needed The Most,
The Person Who Broke His Heart..
Seb Talked To Zaki Until 2 In The Morning Figuring Out What Had To Be Done..
He Went To Sleep That Night(Barely Being Able To)
Without Cutting Himself.
On Saturday,
Seb Was On His Way To James' House Again..
Looking Optimistic About Hanging Out, Watching Ben 1o, Having A Couple Of Burgers..
Hanging Out Part Was Awesome All They Did Was Go To The 'CC' And Stayed At Home Not Having Any Worries..
But Wat Was Sad Was...
The TV Network Had Cancelled Ben 10..
How Could Anyone Do That?!
I Mean Seriously.
Ben 10 Is The Most Awesomest Cartoon In The World..
That Crushed Seb's Hopes Completely..
After Having Spent The Whole Day There..
Seb Went Back Home On Sunday Dead Tired And Messed Up..
Just When You Think It Couldn't Get Any Worse...
Seb Got On His Facebook And Got Ignored By Her..
2 Fucking Slashes In 3 Days..
A Man Can Only Take So Much..
So Here He Sits Depressed And Heart Broken And Sad And Crushed And Lonely Trying Not To Kill Himself To See If Tommorow Would Be Better..
Thats The Only Thing You Can Hope For Nowadays..
For A Better Tommorow..

-Seb's Other Side-

P.S I Am So Fucking Sad And Cold.I Feel Like Putting A Fucking Bullet In My WorthLess Head.

I Will Die Trying To Move On.

I Just Want You Guys To Know..
That I Am Fucked Up..
Seriously...
I'm Not Perfect.
I Don't Think Anyone Is..
So...
I Don't Blame Anyone For Not Liking Me..
Let Me Just Get One Thing Straight..
See,
I Have A Heart..
And I Have Feelings..
You Don't Go Around Breaking Peoples Heart,
Or Hurting Their Feelings..
Not 2 Weeks Away From One Of The Most Important Exams Of Their Lives..
You Know What?
Fuck It..
Just Fuck It..
Fuck Life,
I Bleed For Myself.
Until I Fucking Die,
I Bleed For Myself.

Life Is The Hole In A**Hole

Life's A Bitch..
One Minute You're Looking Forward To Something.
The Next Minute You Find Out That You Might Lose Everything You Ever Cared About.
My Day Hasn't Exactly Been A Perfect Day..
I Woke Up Looking Forward To Seeing Her.
And 'BOOM' Comes This News About Stuff..
I Mean...
I'm Ok With That.
I Guess..
But Still It's Dissapointing..
Just When You Think Everything Is Alright,
Life Just Slaps You In The Face..
I Respect Her Decision, Don't Get Me Wrong.
Anyone Would Choose Anyone Else Over Me.
But I Have Feelings Too..
And I Guess I'm A Little Sad.
Plus I Have A Trial Thing Tommorow And I Don't Know What To Do..
My Mind's A Mess Right Now.
This Is The Reason Why I Don't Have Much Faith In The Big Guy Up There..
God Help Me..

-Seb-

Blum-Ness + Bored-ification=DUM DUM DUM DUM

Today...
Well It Wasn't Bad I Guess..
Compared To All The Bullsh*it I Brought To Myself..
So Yeah..
It Wasn't Bad..
I Talked To Sherie..
And Went To Bondy's House..
And Played With Rambo..


But...
I Still Miss Sherie..
And I Love Her..
I Can't Stand A Day Without Her..
So I Try My Best On Weekends..
It Doesn't Work..
But Still...
I Promise Myself I'm Going To Study Tomorrow..
So Call Me Up To Remind Me..
Oh Yeah..


My Phone Is Awesome..
It's Cool..
I Call It 'Fon'
It's Black With Red Designs..
And It's An XpressMusic..
That Means It's Twice As Awesome..
I'm Bored..


I Miss Her To Much To Do Anything Else..
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

Random-ness..
I Miss Her So Much..
I Just Want To Stare In Her Beautiful Eyes And Forget About The World.

-ChesseBall-

P.S. All The Dates Have Been Mixed Up So Yeah.

I'll Give You Reason.

I Spent One Whole Day Without Her..
I'm Sad..
Really Sad.
I Did This Because I Can't Talk About Stuff She Likes..
And It's Killing Me.
Plus She Likes Some Other Guy..
So...
Yeah.
I Might Be Wrong But It Still Hurts.

I Tried So Hard To Keep My Distance..
For What?
I Don't Really Know..
So I Guess I'll Just Spend The Rest Of My Day Feelling Sad And Worthless..
I Love Her, Don't Get Me Wrong.
I Just Want To Make Her Happy And I Can't..
I'm Going To Go Cut Myself Now...

The 'Perfect' Friday.

Its Been About Nine Hours Since I Last Saw You.
But..
I'm Not Good At Maths..
So..
It Might Be More, Or, Less.
I Miss You.
A Lot.

Let Me Tell You About A Day In The Life Of Sebastian Pettersson.
He Wakes Up All Groggy And Sleepy..
Barely Awake..
But He Gets Up Anyway..
To See Her..
Seb Gets Ready For School,
And On The Way There...
He Realises Some Of His Friends Words Got To Him..
(Being Slow He Only Realised This After One Whole Day)
You See Seb Here.
He Does Not No What To Do With His Feelings..
So He Acts In Stupid Ways And Tends To Alienate His Friends And Loved Ones.
He Doesn't Mean To But What Can You Expect From A Person Who Does Not Use His Brain.
After A While He Pushed His Emotions A Way And Became Normal...
I Guess.
During Art Class,
He Was Sitting With Sherie.
And Some Of Their Friends Came As Well..
Sherie And John And Zaki..
They Were Discussing Methods Of Math Thing..
Being The Genius Sherie Won..
But Seb Couldn't Understand Anything And Felt Left Out..
So He Kept Hema Company While Hema Was Doing His Maths And..
Yeah..
You Get The Point Right?
After Art Was English..
We Went To The Library..
And Stuff..
Sat Down And Sherie Started Talking To Akiff..
So Once Again Seb Felt Left Out..
He Didn't Say Anything But...
If You Had Saw Him From Where I Was Looking At..
You Would Have Seen The Confusion In His Eyes..
English Was The Last Subject Of The Day..
And Seb Was Reluctant To Leave Sherie,
Knowing That He Was Not Going To See Her For Three More Days..
So That Was That And It Was The End Of School..

Coming Back Home..
To His A**hole Of A Brother..
Wasn't Very Nice.
His Brother Never Left Him Alone.
And I Guess That Would Be Okay If His Brother Didn't Bully Or Blackmail Him Every Second Of The Day..
Yes His Brother Is Younger..
But Seb Is..
Well..
Nice In Certain Ways..
So After A Whole Day
And When Everyones Asleep..
Seb Lays In His Bed Waiting For This 'Nightmare' To End..


THE END

I Miss Sherie So Much..
-CheeseBall-