I Will Burn Myself If I Had A Blowtorch

I'm So Pissed Right Now,

With My Brother And Just At Life Mainly.

I Just Want To Scream,

And Just Break Something,

And Just Scream Until My Stupid Lungs Give Out.

I Swear To God,

Why?

How Could Does Be Fair,

I Feel Like Burning Myself,

You Know,

But I Can't,

Cause That Would Just Mean,

I'm Afraid,

And I'm Not,

I'm A Bastard.

I Need To Drink.

And Scream.

I Want To Get High.

I Miss Bondy And Sparky And Fish.

I'm Just So Pissed,
And I Snap So Easily,

I Swear,

I Need To Manage My Stupid Anger.

French Toast For Breakfast

I'm Listening To Kings And Queens-Thirty Seconds To Mars

It's Nice How Its Just Playing,

You Know.

I'm Getting Really Frustrated,

It's Really Not Fun When You Have To Consider Others,

I'm Getting Slightly Pissed Off,

I Mean,

Its Really Not Fair

Then Again,

Life Isn't Fair,

But Don't I Atleast You Know,

Get A Shot?

I Swear To God.

Dark Days

I Just Want To Get High,

I Just Feel Like It.

I've Been Listening To Lots Of Kid Cudi And This Guy Is Just,

He's Just Cool.

I Mean,

Go Ahead, Listen To Him,

It's Just Like Magic,

It Makes You Want To Smoke Weed,

And His Lyrics Are Just,

You Know,

Profound.

I Guess,

I Don't Know.

I'm Shaking,

Don't Know Why.

And,

It's Sad,

My Friend,

Our Friend,

He Is Going,

And He Is Just So Cool,

I Haven't Known Him Long But He Is Just So Cool,

I'm Going To Miss Him.

I Miss Bondy,

And My Mom,

And Sparky.

I Really Want To Get High,

See What It Feels Like,

Enjoy That Moment,

When Nothing Else Matters,

And Everything Is Just Perfect, Even If Its For A Second,

Then,

I Want To Get Into A Fight,

Get Hit.

Then I Would,

Go Back To My House,

And Lie My Head Down On My Pillow,

With A Smile On My Face,

Thinking To Myself,

"You're Awesome"

And Slowly Fall Asleep,

And Fall Into A World Of Dream.

Her Heart Is Breaking In Front Of Me

It's Been A While Since We Talked Bout The Boy,

Well,

The Boy Has Been Getting On Pretty Good I Would Say,

He Has Moved On To Another Chapter Of His Life,

He Is Trying To Live.

So Far He's Been Getting Along Just Fine,

Until About Recently,

The Water Started To Get A Little Murky,

True Colours Were Being Shown,

And The Boy Was Really Confused,
On One Hand,

He Doesn't Want Anything To Change,

On The Other,

He Wants So Badly For Things To Do.

He Gets Thrown A Little Off Balance With The Occasional Madness Here And There But He Stands Up Ok,

The Boy Doesn't Want To Get Involved,

He Wants To Live Free,

But He Can't Help It,

He Would Feel So At Peace If It Could Be Considered

The Plot Thickens,

Things Start To Happen,

People Start To Get Hurt,

Lies Are Being Blatantly Told,

The Boy Is In A Position Where He Should Be Someones Shoulder,

Someones Rock,

He Doesn't Know If Thats What He Did,

He Isn't Sure If He Followed His Heart Or His Head,

Either Way,

He Didn't Consider Anyone Else,

He Was Being Somewhat Selfish,

The Boy Figured,

Why Not,

He Regrets It Though,

The Guilt Starts To Pour In,

He Keeps It In,

Just As He Always Had.

The Night Ends

One Word Frees Us All Of Weight And Pain Of Life; That Word Is Love

I've been so sad lately,

I really have no clue what it is.

I mean,

I'm always so sad and it's depressing not knowing what it is and having to deal with it,

I feel like I don't have a reason to live anymore,

I mean,

What am I doing?

I'm doing OK in school,

But what am I doing?

I'm fooling around

I'm acting like a bastard,

This is just not me,

I honestly think,

Subconsiously,

I'm afraid to open whats left of my God forsaken to anyone

And by doing so,

I'm not letting any happyness in

I could be wrong,

I usually am.

I could also be sad because,

My mom is not talking to me,

The closest person I have to me won't spend a few minutes to let me know it's OK

I pretend like I'm cool

But I miss her,

I do,

Or I could be sad because,

I lost my friends,

Two best friends of mine,

Two best friends I could talk to,

Who didn't really give a shit bout who I was rather, accept me for who I am

Friends who would cancel plans just to hear bout my day.

Or I'm not sad,

I just pretend to be sad because I don't want to be happy.

Maybe,

I just need to be shown some love,

Some genuine love,

A hug which doesn't feel empty,

A conversation which brings my spirit up.

I shouldn't feel like this,

I'm Sebastian Pettersson,

Nothing brings me down,

Accept maybe nothing,

I'm merely human,

I bleed,

I hurt.

It's All A Game Of This And That

Why Does Every Moment Have To Be So Hard?

I'm Just Trying To Live, To Have Fun

And That's Wrong?

Cause I Think I Deserve It,

I've Been Through Shit And I Can't Have Fun?

I Mean

Why Does Everyone Think They Control My Life,

They Dictate What I Have To Do To Live And When I Don't Do As They Want They Just Cut Me Off.

It Fucking Hurts,

Knowing That No One Really Gives A Shit Anymore,

Do I Look Like Trash?

Am I That Un-Important?

As Much As Anyone Would Like To Think,

I Have A Heart,

I Have Feelings,

They Hurt.

And I Can't Do Anything About It Cause I Don't Know What To Do,

I Just Don't,

No One Is Helping,

No One Supports Me,

And I'm Just Sad.

You Said You Wouldn't Care If I Was With Another Girl,

You Said You Wouldn't Mind,

Then When I Am With Another Girl,

Its Wrong?

Help Me Understand.

____________________________________________

This Is Meant For Two People And Two People Only,

Two People Whom I Thought Cared,

Two People Who Was Supposed To Be There For Me.

In A Matter Of Three Weeks, I've Had Tons Of Older Girls Flirt With Me (I'm Just That Good Looking)

A Band Of Wise People Once Said,

"The Truth Hurts Worst Than Anything I Could Bring Myself To Do, To You"

You Could Look At This Line From So Many Different Points Of Views, Perspectives If You Will,

But,

Yeah,

That's Pretty Much It,

I Mean,

It Has Loads Of Meanings To It,

Some We Probably Would'nt Have Thought Of In A Million Years,

Basically,

The Truth Hurts.

What I'm Trying To Get At Here Is That,

We Humans Judge,

Thats What We Do,

Even If We Try Not To We Still Do,

And In Some Ways,

When You Don't Like A Person,

It's Probably Cause You've Acted Like Him/Her

That Not Always The Case But

You Get My Point

Yeah

Right Now,

Everyone Single One Of Us Has To Forgive,

Cause Thats The Only Way Any Of Us Is Gonna Move On,

Sure

You Could Sulk, Get Depressed, Swear At The One Person You Hate,

Where Does That Get You?

What Does That Do For You?

And If You Do That,

You Sink As Low As The Person You Dislike,

I Realised That And Now,

You Could Say,

I'm In A State Of Hippy-ness

I'm Pretty Much Just Chill About Everything Now,

You Can't Change The Past,

So

Just Shape The Future.

So Yeah,

I Probably Wrote This Better Then You Guys Ever Felt It And I'm Sorry