Her Heart Is Breaking In Front Of Me

It's Been A While Since We Talked Bout The Boy,

Well,

The Boy Has Been Getting On Pretty Good I Would Say,

He Has Moved On To Another Chapter Of His Life,

He Is Trying To Live.

So Far He's Been Getting Along Just Fine,

Until About Recently,

The Water Started To Get A Little Murky,

True Colours Were Being Shown,

And The Boy Was Really Confused,
On One Hand,

He Doesn't Want Anything To Change,

On The Other,

He Wants So Badly For Things To Do.

He Gets Thrown A Little Off Balance With The Occasional Madness Here And There But He Stands Up Ok,

The Boy Doesn't Want To Get Involved,

He Wants To Live Free,

But He Can't Help It,

He Would Feel So At Peace If It Could Be Considered

The Plot Thickens,

Things Start To Happen,

People Start To Get Hurt,

Lies Are Being Blatantly Told,

The Boy Is In A Position Where He Should Be Someones Shoulder,

Someones Rock,

He Doesn't Know If Thats What He Did,

He Isn't Sure If He Followed His Heart Or His Head,

Either Way,

He Didn't Consider Anyone Else,

He Was Being Somewhat Selfish,

The Boy Figured,

Why Not,

He Regrets It Though,

The Guilt Starts To Pour In,

He Keeps It In,

Just As He Always Had.

The Night Ends

One Word Frees Us All Of Weight And Pain Of Life; That Word Is Love

I've been so sad lately,

I really have no clue what it is.

I mean,

I'm always so sad and it's depressing not knowing what it is and having to deal with it,

I feel like I don't have a reason to live anymore,

I mean,

What am I doing?

I'm doing OK in school,

But what am I doing?

I'm fooling around

I'm acting like a bastard,

This is just not me,

I honestly think,

Subconsiously,

I'm afraid to open whats left of my God forsaken to anyone

And by doing so,

I'm not letting any happyness in

I could be wrong,

I usually am.

I could also be sad because,

My mom is not talking to me,

The closest person I have to me won't spend a few minutes to let me know it's OK

I pretend like I'm cool

But I miss her,

I do,

Or I could be sad because,

I lost my friends,

Two best friends of mine,

Two best friends I could talk to,

Who didn't really give a shit bout who I was rather, accept me for who I am

Friends who would cancel plans just to hear bout my day.

Or I'm not sad,

I just pretend to be sad because I don't want to be happy.

Maybe,

I just need to be shown some love,

Some genuine love,

A hug which doesn't feel empty,

A conversation which brings my spirit up.

I shouldn't feel like this,

I'm Sebastian Pettersson,

Nothing brings me down,

Accept maybe nothing,

I'm merely human,

I bleed,

I hurt.

It's All A Game Of This And That

Why Does Every Moment Have To Be So Hard?

I'm Just Trying To Live, To Have Fun

And That's Wrong?

Cause I Think I Deserve It,

I've Been Through Shit And I Can't Have Fun?

I Mean

Why Does Everyone Think They Control My Life,

They Dictate What I Have To Do To Live And When I Don't Do As They Want They Just Cut Me Off.

It Fucking Hurts,

Knowing That No One Really Gives A Shit Anymore,

Do I Look Like Trash?

Am I That Un-Important?

As Much As Anyone Would Like To Think,

I Have A Heart,

I Have Feelings,

They Hurt.

And I Can't Do Anything About It Cause I Don't Know What To Do,

I Just Don't,

No One Is Helping,

No One Supports Me,

And I'm Just Sad.

You Said You Wouldn't Care If I Was With Another Girl,

You Said You Wouldn't Mind,

Then When I Am With Another Girl,

Its Wrong?

Help Me Understand.

____________________________________________

This Is Meant For Two People And Two People Only,

Two People Whom I Thought Cared,

Two People Who Was Supposed To Be There For Me.

In A Matter Of Three Weeks, I've Had Tons Of Older Girls Flirt With Me (I'm Just That Good Looking)

A Band Of Wise People Once Said,

"The Truth Hurts Worst Than Anything I Could Bring Myself To Do, To You"

You Could Look At This Line From So Many Different Points Of Views, Perspectives If You Will,

But,

Yeah,

That's Pretty Much It,

I Mean,

It Has Loads Of Meanings To It,

Some We Probably Would'nt Have Thought Of In A Million Years,

Basically,

The Truth Hurts.

What I'm Trying To Get At Here Is That,

We Humans Judge,

Thats What We Do,

Even If We Try Not To We Still Do,

And In Some Ways,

When You Don't Like A Person,

It's Probably Cause You've Acted Like Him/Her

That Not Always The Case But

You Get My Point

Yeah

Right Now,

Everyone Single One Of Us Has To Forgive,

Cause Thats The Only Way Any Of Us Is Gonna Move On,

Sure

You Could Sulk, Get Depressed, Swear At The One Person You Hate,

Where Does That Get You?

What Does That Do For You?

And If You Do That,

You Sink As Low As The Person You Dislike,

I Realised That And Now,

You Could Say,

I'm In A State Of Hippy-ness

I'm Pretty Much Just Chill About Everything Now,

You Can't Change The Past,

So

Just Shape The Future.

So Yeah,

I Probably Wrote This Better Then You Guys Ever Felt It And I'm Sorry

Do You Remember The Way I Held You Hand?

Where Do I Start?

"The Only Thing In Life Which Is Constant Is Change"

Yeah

Everything Changes,

The Only Way Any Of Us Is Going To Live Is By Moving Forward,

Sure It Can Be Hard,

You'll Miss Your Parents,

Your Friends.

But

Theres Really Nothing Much You Can Do

Just Keep Living,

Sometimes Its For The Best,

Like

Better Schools

Or Better Lifestyle

I Can Say

Its Really Much Nicer Here,

Like Right Now

You Can Here Music Out In The Streets

You Can See People Dancing,

Having Fun,

Even Though It's Freezing

So Yeah

At First

It Will Be Hard,

But Seasons Change,

From Winter,

It Changes To Spring

Then Summer

It Will Get Better,

Just Chill

You Probably Wont

Cause You Think You Cooler Than Me

Allah Is The Arabic Word For God, I Think If That Isn't Allowed To Be Said By Non-Muslims, We Might As Ban The Word God Being Said In Other Languages

For One,
I'm Keeping On Hold What I Should Be Doing,

For Hope.

I Just Don't Get It,

You Say You Don't Want Anymore Right,

Then I'm Nicely Talking With My Friend

Then You Butt In?

Seriously

What The Fuck?

And Being The Pussies These People Are,

They're Going To Show All These To Teachers,

Who're Not Going To Listen To Me,

So,

What's The Point?

And

I Really Hope You People Are Proud Of Yourselves,

There's Nothing Else I Can Say,

You Seriously Think That By Doing What You Did Things Won't Result In Total Melancholy?

I Just Don't Get It,

I Mean,

You Knew I Was Leaving,

Let Me Leave In Peace,

Maybe What I Did Was Wrong In Your's And Everyone Elses Eyes,

But To Me,

It Was,

It Was Like Nothing I Can Describe,

And I Don't Regret It For A Second

So,

Say What You Can Say,

To Whoever You Want To Say It To,

And Let Me Handle This On My Own,

Cause,

Obviously,

Anyone Who Tries To Help,

You Lie To The Teachers And Say Whatever Would Make Them Believe,

Yeah,

Show This Post To Them I Dare You,

Tell Them What I'm Saying Is The Truth,

Cause For The Most Part,

It Is.

I'm Alone In This

My Friends Aren't Allowed To Back Me Up

And Yeah Thats Pretty Much It,

I Think It's Quite Unfair That,

Because You're Malay And When Your Friends Meddle Its OK,

But When My Friends Stand Up For Me,

It's Wrong.

One Day,

When I'm All Grown Up,

I'll Write A Book,

About Every Single Shit That Has Happened To Me

And There'll Be One Whole Chapter Bout This,

And I Hope You Get Yourself A Copy To Realize What You Put Everyone Through

Even If It Was My Fault

Life Is Like Down Syndrome Kids Making New Friends

Should We Be Blamed For The Decisions We Make And The Mistakes That Follow?

I Honestly Think

We Should Learn By Ourselves,

I Mean

Helping Would Mean You Just Want To Spoil Someone

And

Yeah.

I Made Decisions With Someone

And Technically

We Didn't Do Anything Wrong

It's Only A Crime If I Get Caught

And As Long As I Didn't Get Caught

It Was Good,

It Was Perfect,

My Life Was Perfect,

Now,

Everyone In School Is Against Me

Even Her,

I Mean

If You Love Someone

You Don't Go And Support The Enemy

You Stay By The One You Love

And Get In Trouble Together

I'm Just Sad, Angry And Dissapointed

I Just Don't Know What To Say Anymore

I Don't Know What To Think.

And If Everyone Thought That I Was Bad When I Was With You,

I'll Prove Them Wrong,

I Have Been Shisha-ing

And Other Stuff

Other Good Stuff.

Damn

Can't Wait For Tommorow,

It's Going To Be So Epic

Yeah

Thats Bout It